HIS Heart for My Journey

The Last Day of February

2011-02-28T22:40:00.004-05:00

Let's do a quick recap: For the year of 2011, I decided that I'm going to either do something I've never done before or go somewhere I've never been at least one time per month. In January I went to New York for the first time, and I had a BLAST! So, for February (drum roll, please) ...

I STARTED A BUSINESS! That's right, a business! I am an official licensed photographer, and I even have my own website: terrilashae photography

Here's a pic of my official logo & business card designed by a dear friend and graphic artist (Here's a link to his site: Gravy FX)

Here's a quick screen shot of my website:

I am beyond blessed by the LOVE and SUPPORT I've gotten for this new venture of my life! I truly have some AMAZING friends and family (BIG shout out to my new friends, too!).

Can't wait to see what's in store for me in March! Maybe I'll try sushi! :)

Xoxoxo

My Photography Website

2011-02-19T12:33:00.000-05:00

Well, it looks like I'm officially going to be up-and-running with my photography business! Yay! So far so good! It's still under construction right now, but you can go ahead and check out my site at: www.terrilashaephotography.com! When you finish, drop me a line and let me know what you think!

Xoxo

AWAKE 1/20/11

2011-01-21T20:22:00.001-05:00

the latest poem I write for awake. i'll try to post them each week.

"Psalm 23:1-3"

by Terri

I used to, roam around in the dark – somewhere between lukewarm and broken words…

I met him one day, listening to him whisper lies into the core of my rib cage

He, kept me engaged on the lies he fed my ears

He was a murderer. A liar of all liars and an enemy to my soul

And the longer i listened to him, the quicker my heart turned to coal, and i began to lose connection with god.

The enemy tried to trap me. I had too much flesh in my system

I couldn’t praise god with my hands even if i wanted to lifte’m

I had no vision. And i was, tired of listening to religion…

I had, deep incisions and i couldn’t see – the filthy life the enemy had for me

I was, strung out on the promises of satan’s deception –

Back-sliding, even though my adolescence was brought up in church…

I thought i was so well-hidden and so well covered that even the finest detectives couldn’t search, me out

I was lured away from my shepherds protection, just enough so the enemy could infect me with his infections

My lips would say, “lord, here’s true repentance,” …but my heart wasn’t feelin’ it

I just kept playin’ game after game and spade after spade until my hands got tired of dealin’ it…

Satan is deceitfully wicked and he wanted me to believe that god never cared

He wanted me to love rejection and to love pain and to live a life scarred and scared

My heart flared up, and i had no clue i was hiding behind liberty

I had no clue i was deceived in this mind that he’d given me

But god, he stood in front of me, and placed my pain on a rock

He took control of a life lost at sea, and brought that ship to the dock

And he restores my soul…

He brings me back from a life of destruction and converts my soul from sin

He rose again, so that i could have newness of life

When my, bones are weary from fainting and ready to die away – he relieves me and refreshes me and comforts me

He restores my soul with new discoveries of his love

With, the promises of his word

With, the peace of his spirit…

He leads me in the paths of righteousness

And though that path may seem rough and rugged to sheep
i’m quick to examine my heart with whatever he’s deciding

I’m quick to give up what i’m believing and start confiding, in him

His paths are not crooked, his roots run deep… deep, deep, so deep

His word is forever etched through the core of my iris

Freeing me from chains and bondage, like paul and silas

Cause, there’s…

No amount of filthiness that’s too dirty

There’s nothing you can do to change his love
there’s nothing you can do to change his gaze

Because no matter what we do, he still gets the praise…

Let your tongue forever bless and glorify his name

Let your life forever increase his reputation and fame

With god, it’s not just about making you clean, its about moving you forward

January: The Big Apple

2011-01-19T14:37:00.002-05:00

For this new year, I've decided that there will be no limits for my dreams and goals. And for every month of this year, I am going to either do something I've NEVER done before or go somewhere I've never been. And, I plan to blog consistently about my experiences!

So...

This past weekend, I went to New York City for the first time with my sister and some of my dearest friends! I cannot begin to describe the feeling I had when I took my first subway ride or when I saw Times Square for the first time! However, this picture pretty much sums it up!

Words escape me in describing this city! I was in hyper overload! Lol. We tried to do EVERYTHING you could possibly do in two days in NYC. We stood in line at the TKTS booth to buy broadway tickets, saw Blue Man Group, we ate NY Pizza, hotdogs and roasted peanuts, we saw and walked through Central Park, shopped heavily on 5th Avenue (went to Tiffanys, Trump Tower, just to name a few), LOVED the "Fashion District," road subway after subway, saw the original MACY's bldg, took pics under 34th St., went to Rockafeller Center, saw an amazing Cathedral (forgot the name), shopped in China Town and Little Italy, saw the Empire State Bldg, everything that there is to see in Times Square, went to famous restaurants, almost got lost in Queens and stayed at a great hotel near Times Square! I'm pretty sure I've left out a whole bunch of stuff, and I can't post all 500 pictures I took, but here are a few pics to document my time there. So fun!

the architecture of this cathedral was breath-taking

central park

empire state building

fashion district

jumbo tron outside of forever 21. can you see me?

strange statue of liberty guy

me & my sister :)

ny pizza at rays! so good!

the girls

radio city music hall

rockafeller

testing the food on the street :)

in trump towers

times square

traffic

After my return from New York, my friends surprised me with a birthday celebration at an art gallery then took me to dinner and a movie in the artsy district of Ghent. I was soooo very surprised (as I would often boast that it is hard to surprise me!) even to the point of tears. I love my friends and am so very grateful for them! This is at dinner:

So, January has turned out to be a wonderful month of firsts! Looking forward to February!

XOXO

Meet Claire Culwell

2011-01-10T10:42:00.002-05:00

I had the privilege of spending time with Claire Culwell this past November. Claire is an abortion survivor and an a-mazing young woman with an incredible gift. She's a speaker, motivator and she loves deeply. It was a privilege to produce her story, and I loved getting to know her; I hope you do, too.

“A Sheep’s Psalm”

2011-01-09T20:08:00.000-05:00

wrote this for AWAKE's kickoff 1/6/2011

The biggest, baddest dude on the planet is my shepherd
He was. He is. He will forever be
He was. He is. He will forever be
My provider
My leader
My protector
He leads me down a path of righteousness and tends to my heart
In my weakness of mind, He guides me
He’s a watchman, forever dedicated to my life
He holds eternity in the etches of his palm, then sketches the perfect plan for me
Oh Lord, You are my shepherd and I shall not want
It is my assurance that You fail not
You know what I need and You are quick to provide
You influence my surrounds and surround me with safety
Though, sometimes I am timid, fearful - You are strong, courageous
If I back track, You fall back to push me forward
And like a backpack, You carry my burdens and push me toward, Yourself
And, all I have to do... is let you.
See, in order to let You be, I just have to let go of me
You are my shepherd and You abandon not
I could run from Your presence and yet, You follow me
Being a creature of habit, if I get puffed up, You hollow me
You tend to me like rusted silver - worn, but easily restored
You fight for me
And when I stumble in darkness, You light for me
Come close to me. And speak.
The power of Your words are filled with grace, mercy, love and life
Let them, fall on my ears and break my heart
There's something about knowing that You are my shepherd of every second and of every day that causes me to weep
May Your staff guide me and keep me in Your presence and, sweep me away
This is my assurance that You fail not
You are my shepherd and I shall not want

terrilashae photography: the michalaks

2010-11-21T19:38:00.000-05:00

I spent the weekend with this wonderful family and I must say, they are quite adorable! Thought I'd share a few pics with you! Smile!

terrilashae photography: babies

2010-11-08T21:56:00.000-05:00

Owen & Evie

terrilashae photography: jonathan & amber

2010-10-30T23:01:00.001-04:00

Here are a few teasers from Jonathan & Amber's wedding. I LOVED shooting this couple! They are wonderful together and I am beyond honored that they let me be a part of their beautiful wedding day! More of their wedding photos will be posted to my website later this week. Smile!

Your Voice

2010-10-20T22:59:00.003-04:00

Your voice is like thunder, You

hover above the sea, when

the waves of life crash and burn, You

rush to save me, your brush

artistically paints a picture of who You be

You are, the God of many waters, You are

powerful and holy, in Your temple, You are the flame

and everything screams "glory!" I will

worship You, I'll lift Your name high to see

'cause You have kept me alive when death pursued me, like an enemy

Your voice is, like Gatorade, when I am weak, You replenish me

Like sentences be, if I kept running, You're the period at the end of me

Your, voice scribbles on my heart, Your purposes and destiny, and I

won't bother to erase them, I'll embrace them like integrity

And I'll never be ashamed, to live for You whole-heartedly

I'll stand for You as a part of me, arms raised for the world to see

'cause you stood before creation, You like, existed invisibly

You spoke the earth into existence, then came here to die, physically

There's nothin' I can say or do, I'll just, keep your spirit alive in me

I'll declare Your promise, and live Your word, and

not keep you locked up in privacy

Like infancy, I'll raise my hands and offer my heart, completely

I'll stand

by me,

terrilashae photography: J & B Miller

2010-10-11T16:09:00.024-04:00

Meet Jeremy & Bekah Miller. They let me use them as models for a photo shoot I recently finished for my website. If I had to describe Jeremy & Bekah in 3 words, I'd say: I. Love. Them.
Seriously!

They are an extraordinary couple, powerful musicians/speakers, fun and they love Jesus with everything they are. I met Jeremy & Bekah over a year ago, and I can honestly say, I feel like I've known them my entire life.

Jeremy is just cool. Period.

I've adopted Bekah as my younger sister -- she's a blessing to my life. What moves me about her, is her passion and heart for the Lord. She is a prayer WARRIOR, no doubt! She's sweet, fun and this girl can SANG!! Lol. I heart her.

Vous êtes la sœur, j'ai prié pour.

She's also a writer; here's her latest poem:

What do you do Lord, when you find yourself slowly slipping away?

When you are far from rebellion but still.. disengaged?
When You've tasted something good that You now ..waist?

What is it Lord that makes me content with less refusing to pursue the best?

God, save me from this potential mess of being caught up in vanity...
Reminding myself of what i'm missing and just constantly listing all my lacks
Going without realizing that my gaze is drifting off you....I'm sorry.

Allow your hand to bless me with a heart that's devoted,
A gun fully loaded ready to shoot all intentions that would come cause division,
interfering with set decisions regarding my pursuit of you.

Oh that you would make me more tender, more sensitive, more alert

To the love you deserve.

I will fight against complacency, seeking help in your divinity to be...

Always found....In Pursuit of You

____________________________________________

I love how God keeps extending my family! J & B, thank you for letting me use you as models. I had a lot of fun with you! You're a gorgeous couple.

Masks

2010-10-02T02:15:00.002-04:00

Tonight, I had the opportunity to share and perform a spoken word poem at a young women's conference called, DNA: Unveiling The Real Me. The theme was about removing the masks that so many of us carry because we don't want people to see our insecurities. it was amazing to see God's heart tonight as many of the girls removed masks and experienced a new freedom. It was a powerful night.

Here's a copy of my poem.

Masks

by Me

I remember when I first put on this mask

I was, six-years-old… SIX… s-i-x

Then the next thing I remember is him forcing me to replace the

“i” in the word six with an “e.” I thought that I, couldn’t tell my mother

his, advances were undercover, ripped from me, was the true meaning of a lover

and who knew, that I would have to rediscover my, identity

and the sad thing is, this dude was kin to me, so

there went my view of family and my childhood read like a tragedy

this, grief that gripped my innocence callously, kept me from reaching out for help.

I. didn’t. even. Ask.

Instead, I learned at an early age to hide my suffering with a mask.

Humor became my mask of choice, it

Gave a voice to the pain I felt, the strain I felt as an adolescent - I was a funny kid.

I, hid because I felt unclean,

I, told jokes when I was scared

The, scars on my life were unseen

They were, open wounds that constantly flared

I, vowed to never show my pain,

It, became my mantra, I declared

The, mask I wore hid the shame

Of, the secret life that I would bare

Satan is the master of interference

He wants you to care more about your appearance, and less about

Jesus’ perseverance to set you free

See, with me –I wore all kinds of masks:

I wore the: “Hey everybody! I’ve got it all together mask.” Or the,

“I’m the life of the party or nothing’s wrong! Or don’t approach me” face – the, mask that would keep people outta my space

I pretended that my life was all-together, and every day I got better and better

at locking away my true self

The lie is, satan wants you to be anything other than who you were created to be

He wants you wrapped up in hiding your insecurity

And by wearing a mask, you consent – literally, to presenting a false picture for the world to see

Don’t. present. Yourself. falsely… it’s too costly.

Because no matter what you do,

God sees through the mask, right down to the “real you”.

He sees all the failures, mistakes and flaws

Then draws an “x” over it, canceling out those walls

then loves you completely and unconditionally,

with no pretense, because He’s serious about you.

I remember the day I removed my masks

I was tired of carrying it’s weight,

I just wanted to unveil the real me

I wanted an empty and clean slate

I was tired of being fake, and carrying these scars

I was ready to press the delete button,

Instead of holding on to the space bar

I began seeing through the Father’s eyes

Accepting who I am called to be

Now, I don’t hide my face

Through intimacy, I’ve learned transparency

And we, with unveiled faces, ALL reflect the Lord’s glory

Being transformed into His likeness by letting GO of our story

When Jesus looks at you, what will he see? Your mask or your heart?

Meet Anne Jackson

2010-10-02T01:52:00.005-04:00

I had the privilege of traveling to Nashville, Tennessee to meet and interview Anne Jackson. She's not only an amazing person, she's compassionate, real and zealous about sharing the truth about Jesus and her testimony no matter how difficult it may be. Her heart is to see people set free. Love that! Here's the interview:

Also, check out Anne's new book, "Permission To Speak Freely." I promise it'll change your life.

My First Wedding!

2010-09-29T17:14:00.000-04:00

I had the privilege of shooting my first wedding two weekends ago! More to come on terrilashaephotography.com! (The site is not live just yet, check it in about two weeks!)

JONATHAN + AMBER
SEPTEMBER 18, 2010

I love, love.

Collage

2010-07-28T17:29:00.000-04:00

Thought this would be fun to add to my blog, since i was just doodling... Just me and a collage of a few friends. Many more to add and highlight later 'cause God has blessed me with A LOT of friends! Love them!

Welcome To Holland

2010-07-10T15:35:00.003-04:00

by Emily Perl Kingsley
©1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved. Article printed with permission of the author.

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel.

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It’s just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away...because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

Family Intro

2010-07-06T10:10:00.004-04:00

Thought I'd introduce 3 of the most amazing people in my life! Notice the resemblance? I love them!

Brother, David Mom Brother, Darnell

Rest With Me A While

2010-06-29T10:29:00.004-04:00

Briefly: A few weeks ago, I ruptured my Achilles tendon while playing softball. I had surgery four days later and since then, I've pretty much been immobile and relying on my crutches and the help of friends and family for my needs. I'll have to wear a cast until the end of August, then I'll be fitted for a "boot." After the "boot," physical therapy. Needless to say, my life has taken a drastic turn due to this injury; believe it or not. I'll write more about the revelation I've been receiving day-to-day, along with the many lessons, struggles, tears and joys I've experienced, later on...

Today, I wanted to introduce a book/devotional I've been reading, daily, called "Jesus Calling," by Sarah Young. It's a book of short prophetic devotionals - nothing too deep, but the words definitely tug at your heart and seems to help quiet my spirit before the Lord. Here's what I read this morning:

"Rest with Me a while. You have journeyed up a steep, rugged path in recent days. The way ahead is shrouded in uncertainty. Look neither behind you nor before you. Instead, focus your attention on Me, your constant Companion. Trust that I will equip you fully for whatever awaits you on your journey. I designed time to be a protection for you. You couldn't bear to see all your life at once. Though I am unlimited by time, it is in the present moment that I meet you. Refresh yourself in My company, breathing deep droughts of My Presence. The highest level of trust is to enjoy Me moment by moment. I am with you, watching over you where you go."

Psalm 143:8, Genesis 28:15

More from me, later.

Meet Laura

2010-06-01T13:35:00.000-04:00

I had the privilege of meeting Laura and producing her testimony almost 2 years ago. She's an amazing person, and God radically changed her life. Check it out.

Thinking of Prayer as Jesus Taught

2010-05-26T09:45:00.000-04:00

One of my FAVORITE devotionals by Oswald Chambers

Pray without ceasing . . . —1 Thessalonians 5:17

Our thinking about prayer, whether right or wrong, is based on our own mental conception of it. The correct concept is to think of prayer as the breath in our lungs and the blood from our hearts. Our blood flows and our breathing continues “without ceasing”; we are not even conscious of it, but it never stops. And we are not always conscious of Jesus keeping us in perfect oneness with God, but if we are obeying Him, He always is. Prayer is not an exercise, it is the life of the saint. Beware of anything that stops the offering up of prayer. “Pray without ceasing . . .”— maintain the childlike habit of offering up prayer in your heart to God all the time.
Jesus never mentioned unanswered prayer. He had the unlimited certainty of knowing that prayer is always answered. Do we have through the Spirit of God that inexpressible certainty that Jesus had about prayer, or do we think of the times when it seemed that God did not answer our prayer? Jesus said, “. . . everyone who asks receives . . .” ( Matthew 7:8 ). Yet we say, “But . . . , but . . . .” God answers prayer in the best way— not just sometimes, but every time. However, the evidence of the answer in the area we want it may not always immediately follow. Do we expect God to answer prayer?
The danger we have is that we want to water down what Jesus said to make it mean something that aligns with our common sense. But if it were only common sense, what He said would not even be worthwhile. The things Jesus taught about prayer are supernatural truths He reveals to us.

Just Because

2010-04-22T10:31:00.003-04:00

Today, I experienced you from above. Your palette of color speaking to me like instructions on how to understand beauty. What a realm you dwell in going beyond what my eyes can see - understand. You are still speaking as I watch the eye of our earthly light fall behind pillows of peace... I feel peace; inhaling the breath you gave, give me. Besides being the architect of my mind, Your grandeur astounds even the most genius of thoughts - under construction. When I get lost in You, I am truly found. No GPS, just Your direction. Just, Your perfection; just, Your words. Cover me. They, uncover me; they discover me. You are a lover to me, beyond my scars and weight and heavi-ness. You are the steadi-est person, thing, being in my life. It's, in You that I find my strength, my courage, my passion, my vision, my armor. You don't exist to harm or, to destroy or to belittle or to be a middle-man. You are thee man, existing to love us. Just, because.

Your Love Never Fails

2010-04-20T15:35:00.005-04:00

I love God! His love never fails!

Purity

2010-04-15T14:06:00.009-04:00

something i wrote to perform for the young adults at AWAKE...
______________________________

Purity
by Terri Simmons

Let’s focus on the heat of the moment
your arousal’s got you so open, you don’t care if you’ve blown it.
The essence of purity? It’s like you’ve never known it.
The lessons on chastity? You couldn’t buy it back, even if you owned it.
Sex? You’re now in position to condone it.
His cologne, her perfume, it’s got you mesmerized – but it’s torment.
You’re loins are on fire, your embers - no longer dormant.
Let’s face it; you wanna have sex – and the images in your head
rush, like a torrent… river.
Like a muddied terrain, you’ve been dirtied and unclean and weakened and ashamed, at all the filth your eyes have seen, your, hands have touched, much, the body parts of your ex, having unruly affections about the, sanctity of sex, your, passions are aroused - “I want him, he wants me”, we, both think it’s necessary to explore im-purity, we, want to be
intimate but our relationship’s not legitimate, it’s, counterfeit
because we forfeit… purity.

This is the will of God for you, the mighty will of God for you
That you practice holiness and purity in, all you do
That you choose honor over passion, Chastity over action,
in fact, put your arousal on the alter, offer it to the Lord
you can’t afford to be physical, your body should not be explored - outside of marriage…
because that’s not pure
instead, you’re luring destruction to yourself
allowing satan to destroy the value and wealth
in which you were created, in His image…
which is, pure.

This is the will of God for you, the mighty will of God for you
That you practice holiness and purity in, all you do
If you, feel your flesh being aroused, don’t lament
Just change your view of sexual content, and here’s a hint
Pull out God’s word, it’s a blueprint, and it’ll put a dint in your flesh
Don’t, allow this culture to mesh with your belief that ‘waiting’ is beneath, you.

This is the will of God for you, the mighty will of God for you
That you practice holiness and purity in, all you do
Because Purity is more than physical, it’s powerful beyond belief
Even satan knows it, that’s why he’s the thief – coming to kill, steal and destroy
He wants to annoy you with thoughts of sexual tactics, to, pressure you with his word
He wants to blur your concept of everything that’s right
He doesn’t want you to know that purity is ultimately the presence of light, and that light is… Holy -
Only, He can do all that is in first Thessalonians four,
He’ll do that and more, if you let’em
Practice purity. Don’t let anything or anyone spoil your witness or reduce your power,
Don’t let your longings slay your appetite for life
so, live.

This is the will of God for you, the mighty will of God for you
That you practice holiness and purity in, all you do
For God has called us, ALL, to holiness.

Meet Nina

2010-03-17T09:15:00.006-04:00

I had the privilege of meeting Nina Landis a few weeks ago. She's an amazing worship leader, speaker, teacher, artist, mom, etc. Just a great person all around. This is part 1 of her testimony that I produced for our show.

Meet Nina...

Running

2010-03-04T23:22:00.004-05:00

This is part 2 of "The Wilderness" poem that I wrote for our young adult meeting called, AWAKE. The focus was centered around allowing God to mold us in the place of transition and solitude. To stop running and to allow God to change us...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“THE RUNNER POEM”
By Terri

I LIKE TO RUN FROM THINGS
AND SOMETIMES HIDE FROM THINGS
ESPECIALLY WHEN I’M ASKED TO LAY DOWN MY LIFE
OR, STEP OUT OF MY COMFORT ZONE
IF THAT HAPPENS, THEN MY FEAR SINGS

SINGS LOUDER THAN MY SURRENDER
LOUDER THAN MY OBEDIENCE
HENCE, LOUDER THAN SAYING YES TO YOUR WAYS
MY, EARS ARE DEAF AND DUMB TO YOU
BECAUSE, THE ONLY THING I HEAR
ARE THE WINGS ON MY SHOES TAKING FLIGHT
THAT‘S RIGHT, I - LIKE TO RUN FROM THINGS

BUT DON’T SAY IT TOO LOUDLY, I’VE GOT A REPUTATION TO UPHOLD
I’VE GOT TO KEEP WEARIN’ THIS MASK AND ACTIN’ ALL COOL
BUT ON THE INSIDE I’M COLD
TRUTH BE TOLD, I DETERMINE WHAT MY HAPPINESS BRINGS
…UNTIL LIFE GETS ROUGH. SO I GUESS EVEN THE TOUGH
RUN FROM THINGS

FORGET PACING, I’M SPRINTING TO FAR AWAY PLACES
I’M JUMPING OVER OPPORTUNITY AND HIDING IN
CORNERS AND SMALL SPACES
THIS RACE IS, KINDA LIKE A MARATHON, YEP
I’M TIGHTENING MY LACES, I’M RUNNING FROM
FEAR OF REJECTION AND HIDING FROM OTHER PEOPLES FACES
BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT YOU DO WHEN YOU
RUN, FROM THINGS

THERE’S NO EXCUSE FOR RUNNING
IT’S ALWAYS PURPOSEFUL AND WITH REASON
YOU’RE EITHER RUNNING TO SOMETHING OR AWAY FROM SOMETHING
YOU’RE EITHER RUNNING TO EMBRACE OR TO ESCAPE THE SEASON
INSTEAD OF LEAVIN’, GOD - WANTS - YOU - FOR - HIMSELF…

REMEMBER THAT EVEN IN YOUR TRANSITION
OR PLACE OF ISOLATION
GOD’S DELAYS CAN BE PAINFUL AND TRYING
BUT BE PATIENT, EXERCISE DEVOTION AND DIRECT YOUR CRYING
TO HIM AND STOP, RUNNING, AWAY…
IN HIM IS SUFFICIENCY AND DEEPER LEVELS OF DEPENDENCY
INTIMACY AND REVELATION
HIS DELAYS ARE EXCELLENT, HIS WAYS HONORABLE
HIS TIMING - CRUCIAL
JUST KNOW THAT IN YOUR TRANSITION OR,
PLACE OF ISOLATION - THE RETURN WILL BE FRUITFUL

I, LIKE TO RUN TO THINGS
AND SOMETIMES CONQUER THINGS
ESPECIALLY WHEN I’M ASKED TO LAY DOWN MY LIFE
OR, STEP OUT OF MY COMFORT ZONE
WHEN THAT HAPPENS, THEN MY SOUL SINGS -

CRY OUT TO THE LORD WITH YOUR VOICE
AND HE, WILL, UNBURDEN YOUR HEART

Meet Dallas

2010-03-02T13:55:00.005-05:00

I had the privilege of meeting Dallas about a year ago, and since then, he's allowed me to share his testimony with our television audience. Dallas is an awesome person with a great heart and an amazing story. Here's just a snippet of what God can do.

God. Is. Awesome!

Dallas' testimony is at the top of the show...

The WILL-DER-NESS

2010-02-24T23:00:00.002-05:00

Here's another spoken word poem. I wrote this one as a quick spoken word intro for our young adult ministry this past week. The theme was solitude and the wilderness. Enjoy.
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"The WILL-DER-NESS"
by Terri

WHEN WE THINK OF SOLITUDE
WE GET AN ATTITUDE, AND DON’T REALIZE
EVEN WITH GRATITUDE THAT IT’S FOR OUR
SURVIVAL

WE PUSH AND FIGHT THE SILENCE, AND
LIMITLESSNESS AND WE GET CARELESS
IN OUR MOMENT OF BEING DRAWN OUT
AND THE LONGER I FIGHT AND SHOUT
THE LONGER I DOUBT AND REBEL, THEN
THE LONGER I WILL EXPERIENCE THIS WILDERNESS
AT A SNAIL’S PACE

I’VE BEEN DRIVEN TO THE WILDERNESS
TO THE THICKET OF THE BUSH
AND, INSTEAD OF PUSHING I – AM- SURRENDERED
AND SETTLING FOR AN ACT OF DIVINE GRACE
REVELATION, NURTURE AND PREPARATION

IN THE WILDERNESS, I AM EXPECTING
AN INTENSE ENCOUNTER WITH THE HOLY
A, FURIOUS LOVE THAT CAN ONLY
COME – FROM – GOD

I TRUST IN HIM, AND MY SOUL SHALL MAKE ITS BOAST IN HIM

FOR ME, THE WILDERNESS IS IMPORTANT FOR
MY SURVIVAL, IT’S WHERE I GET MY NEXT ASSIGNMENT,
MY, EYES ARE OPENED, MY THIRST, QUENCHED
AND INSTEAD OF RUNNING WITH MY HEALS HIGH
I’VE, BEEN BENCHED
IT’S HALF-TIME AND GOD WANTS MY ATTENTION
HE EVEN MENTIONED, TO ME, THAT ONLY, HE
CAN GIVE MEAT IN THE DESERT

I’VE BEEN DRIVEN TO THE WILDERNESS
TO THE THICKET OF THE BUSH
SEARCHING FOR ANYTHING TO QUENCH MY DRY SOUL
ANYTHING TO ADD MOISTURE TO MY DESPERATE AND DUSTY
PATH – ANYTHING TO QUENCH THIS WRATH INSIDE OF ME
MY GROANING, MY YEARNING AND BURNING

ANYTHING

AND YET,
I’M REMEMBERING THAT EVEN IN A PLACE OF CHAOS
GOD DOES HIS BEST WORK

EVEN IN A PLACE OF CHAOS,
HE IS NEAR TO THE BROKEN-HEARTED
KISSING US WITH HIS WORD, WHILE,
OUR HEARTS ARE DEEPLY GUARDED
BY HIM…

I WILL BLESS THE LORD AT ALL TIMES
AND AT ALL TIMES HIS PRAISE SHALL CONTINUALLY BE IN MY MOUTH

NIna Landis, IHOP-KC Leaders

2010-02-24T11:07:00.005-05:00

The last two days have been extremely busy for me... but in a GOOD way! I had the privilege of getting to know two awesome individuals recently - Nina Landis and her husband, Ryan. I shot Nina's testimony for the 700 Club, and I was totally blessed by the two days she was in town; words truly cannot describe.

Below is a link to one of the Monday night webcasts I produce where Nina and Ryan led worship followed by ministry time with Wes Hall and Allen Hood (IHOP, KC).

Love ya'll and see you back here, soon. Watch the link below, it will bless you!

Wes Hall, Allen Hood & Nina and Ryan Landis

P.s. If you wanna skip the intro and jump straight into worship, Nina and Ryan begin at about 18 minutes in...

Hugs!

Clear The Stage

2010-02-19T09:54:00.003-05:00

A friend introduced me to this song a while back. I forgot how much I loved it until I came across it again just a few minutes ago. Take a listen, be blessed and have an amazing weekend.

Hugs,

My blog...

2010-02-15T16:10:00.005-05:00

If you're one of my faithful readers, I miss you! I've gotten all of your e-mails, notes and online messages. Thank you and I am humbled that you take the time to read what I write! :o)

Please know that my blog is under construction! :o) I promise to return asap! I can't seem to settle on the right look... I have so much to add, and I'll be adding new posts and video, soon. I've been journaling a lot - just haven't had time to update the site yet. Stay with me!

Love you, all!

Love These Words...

2010-01-21T14:56:00.001-05:00

Keep me simple, You be great.
Keep me humble, You be praised.
Keep me hungry, childlike.
Keep me thirsty open wide.
I'll never touch your glory Lord, I'll never take what is Yours.
I'll never touch your glory Lord, I'll never take what is Yours...

For Me, This Says It All...

2010-01-15T09:03:00.006-05:00

I purposefully didn't make any New Year's resolutions this year; instead, I made a New Year's promise: To pursue the heart of God.

About two months ago, I was introduced to a song by Amber Brooks that has literally become my heart's cry for this coming year. The name of the song is Come Like You Promised...

Check out the lyrics:

Stir these stagnant waters of my soul,
Merge me with Your river which springs life,
I don’t have all the right words to say
That will provoke You to want me
Anymore than you already do.

So won't You come,
Come like You promised
Pour out Your Spirit,
Pour out Your Spirit!
(repeat)

Come into the darkness where I hide,
Jesus, be the strength of my life.
Reach in past my hiding,
Oh, reach beyond my running,
Oh Lord, flood my soul with Your love!

So won't You come,
Come like You promised
Pour out Your Spirit,
Pour out Your Spirit!
(repeat)

You love like a Father!
You love like a brother!
You love like a Lion,
Fierce Like no other
You violently chase me
Down, to embrace me.
Engulf me,
In who You are!

We want for You to come!
Lord, come like You promised!
Pour out Your Spirit!
Pour out Your Spirit!
We want for You to come!
Lord, come like You promised,
Pour, out Your Spirit,
Pour out Your Spirit…
(repeat)

Called By God

2010-01-14T08:34:00.002-05:00

I read this in My Utmost For His Highest, this morning. It's a good read!

I heard the voice of the Lord, saying: ’Whom shall I send, and who will go for Us?’ Then I said, ’Here am I! Send me’ —Isaiah 6:8

God did not direct His call to Isaiah— Isaiah overheard God saying, ". . . who will go for Us?" The call of God is not just for a select few but for everyone. Whether I hear God’s call or not depends on the condition of my ears, and exactly what I hear depends upon my spiritual attitude. "Many are called, but few are chosen" (Matthew 22:14). That is, few prove that they are the chosen ones. The chosen ones are those who have come into a relationship with God through Jesus Christ and have had their spiritual condition changed and their ears opened. Then they hear "the voice of the Lord" continually asking, ". . . who will go for Us?" However, God doesn’t single out
someone and say, "Now, you go." He did not force His will on Isaiah. Isaiah was in the presence of God, and he overheard the call. His response, performed in complete freedom, could only be to say, "Here am I! Send me."

Remove the thought from your mind of expecting God to come to force you or to plead with you. When our Lord called His disciples, He did it without irresistible pressure from the outside. The quiet, yet passionate, insistence of His "Follow Me" was spoken to men whose
every sense was receptive (Matthew 4:19). If we will allow the Holy Spirit to bring us face to face with God, we too will hear what Isaiah heard-"the voice of the Lord." In perfect freedom we too will say, "Here am I! Send me."

Under Construction

2010-01-04T09:54:00.002-05:00

HI! My blog is under construction for a while, as I am trying to find a new template suitable for the new year and for me! I should have a new blog and new posts by the end of the week! Happy New Year, all!!

Lord, Send Me!

2010-01-01T19:06:00.005-05:00

Dear Friends & Family: Happy New Year!

Most of you know that I am a graduate of Oral Roberts University. The first time I walked into the ORU chapel, I was amazed. The building was huge, beautiful, cathedral-esque and could have probably seated every faculty member and student, comfortably. On the back wall is this creed: "Raise up your students to hear My voice, to go where My light is dim, where My voice is heard small, and My healing power is not known, even to the uttermost bounds of the earth. Their work will exceed yours, and in this I am well pleased." These are the words Oral Roberts heard from God after God told him to start a university in 1963. Even now, 47 years later, God's word has come to fruition.

I have always had a heart for missions, and since attending ORU, that heart had been ignited into a full flame. I have wanted to go where God's light is dim, His voice is heard small and where His healing power is not known. I've been blessed to do that within the United States, but now, I feel God's call to the uttermost bounds of the earth.

I am excited that God has called me to be a part of my church's (New Life Providence) mission team to Guatemala! Guatemala is located in Central America, bordered by Mexico, the Pacific Ocean, Belize, Honduras and El Salvador. Guatemala is an impoverished country with many families in disarray. The children are the ones who suffer most - 10,000 of them living on the streets. Our team will be busy for the next weeks learning about Guatemala and preparing specific programs and materials for our ministry time there. Our team is scheduled to be in Guatemala February 27 - March 6th, 2010. We will be ministering in several orphanages through worship, children's ministry and youth activities, drama/arts, encouragement and hands on love.

Will you help me? I would like to invite you to be a part of our team. We need people who will pray for us as we prepare and while we are on the missions field. I also need people who can partner with me financially. My trip will cost $1500 for me to go to Guatemala. Would you pray about being a part of my support team? All financial contributions are tax-deductible. Checks should be made payable to New Life Ministries International, and the envelope (not the check) should be clearly designated with both the trip (Guatemala) and my name (Terri Simmons).

God bless you and thank you for your support! I plan to keep you updated with prayer requests, as well as the happenings and whereabouts of our team. I'm sooooo excited! Praise'm!!

Much Love,

=========================================================================

please tear here and enclose with donation

Make check payable to: New Life Ministries International or "NLMI"

Donation for: ________________ Trip Location: _________________________

Donor's name: _______________ Donor's email: ________________________

Donor's address: ____________________ Donor's phone #: ______________________

______________________

______________________

Mail donation to:
NLMI - Dept. of Missions
1244 Thompkins Lane
Virginia Beach, VA 23464

What A Bed Represents: Extreme Makeover

2009-12-13T21:22:00.013-05:00

"It goes deeper than you will ever know..." Ms. Claira, Extreme Makeover

I rarely watch Extreme Makeover: Home Edition (just because I never have the time), but when I do, I am always so blessed by the impact and imprint that show leaves on the hearts of the deserving. I can't watch this show without crying. Tonight, I was deeply touched by Ms. Claira, the person being honored by the show. Ms. Claira is an older African-American woman in a wheelchair who lives and breathes the desire to help children, the homeless and the less fortunate people in her neighborhood. Her home was falling apart, she was barely mobile, yet she poured herself out to the youth of the community; housing them and taking care of them for many years. But what touched me the most is when the producers did a segment on the children in the neighborhood and how most of them live in extreme impoverished conditions - no clothes, toys or even a bed of their own.

Even though the makeover team was busy building a new home for Ms. Claira and the children she takes care of, they somehow found the time to remodel the bedrooms of some of those kids in need. The makeover team gave each kid a new bed of their own and painted their rooms cool colors, etc. At the reveal, the kids just wept, walked over to their beds and wept some more. Wow. The most important thing they had was their bed because it represented a small piece of ownership and an even smaller piece of home. The kids didn't have to share their beds anymore (some of them sleeping 4 in one bed). Watching those kids cry reminded me of a time when my family and I were homeless, and with that experience, I can say this: There's nothing like having your own bed. Seriously, there's something 'independent' about it. Home is more than just where the heart is; it's also a place where you can lay your head. For some, a bed represents stability.

I was so blessed by this show tonight. Thank God for the people whose life mission is to give back and to help change/influence a life. Thank God for the selfless actions of those who don't live with a "what about me" mentality but are servants from sun up to sun down.

Favorite Kid Quote of the Day

2009-12-03T08:06:00.005-05:00

Yesterday, my friend Grace spent some time helping her daughter with homework. While they were writing, the daughter says: "Mommy, how do you spell dot-com?"

A sign of the times! Hahahaha! Happy Thursday!

Favorite Kid Quote of the Day

2009-11-30T13:49:00.005-05:00

I tell ya - kids just CRACK ME UP! My friend Towera shared this with me today...

Preparing 4 dinner... my 5 year old niece sees me marinating "beef." She asks me, "Auntie, what are you doing?" Since I am too tired to think, I tell her, "its chicken..." But before I can correct myself, she responds, "Oh... is that the cow from the chicken?"

Hahaha! What a great laugh for the day!

Beauty for Ashes

2009-11-29T22:29:00.005-05:00

A very good friend of mine wrote this and shared it with me, and it opened up a different perspective for me on beauty for ashes... Thanks, Kelli :)

by Kelli W.

Today I was thinking about the Scripture where God promises to give His people “beauty for ashes” (Isaiah 61:3), which Jesus referenced when he stood up in the synagogue and read this very same passage, proclaiming his fulfillment of these verses (Luke 4:17-18). I have heard this verse many times and it has always seemed sweet but maybe somewhat distant from my heart personally and like it applied to others, but today it struck me in a new way. It was as if suddenly I was very aware of what ashes are. Profound, I know ;-). I mean I guess I never thought about it in context to this verse. What are ashes? NOTHING. They are the charred remnants of something that was, but really, what can you do with ashes? NOTHING. Ashes are worthless leftovers that only get stuff dirty by their presence. You can’t build anything with ashes… you can’t really do anything with ashes except put them on your head and go about mourning… And what does God give us for the ashes of our lives? BEAUTY. Oh, something of such substance. He gives us real, true, eternal beauty. He adorns our souls with something that is lasting. He gives us love…. Perfect Love… not just a love that toys with our hearts or makes empty promises. Not a love that manipulates or connives or takes advantage… He gives us PERFECT, FAITHFUL, ETERNAL, COVENANTAL LOVE. Wow. God takes the nothing of my life: my failures, my shortcomings, my vain attempts at reaching righteousness in my own effort, my broken heart, my tears, my lost hope… all of these ashes…and in His Divine Providence, in a way that only He can do, He gives me BEAUTY. He crowns me with His love. This is quite the exchange.

It strikes me that in this exchange, what He gives us has real substance. It is not just a nice idea, a nice thought or an encouraging word in the way people have sympathy and try to make you feel better when you had a really bad day or the girl or guy does not return your admiration or you didn’t get the job or make cheerleading tryouts or the first string of the basketball team or whatever it is. When God names you, when God defines you, He holds the Trump card. He has the absolute and final say about who you really are. And He says who you are is beautiful. He says you are perfect. He says you are worthy of His love because of His blood.

And there’s more! This beauty is not solely substantial, it is eternal. What He is doing in us will last forever. How true the verses Paul writes, “For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory; While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal.” (2 Cor. 4:17, I just liked the KJ version in that one☺, emphasis mine).
The things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal.
The things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal.
The things which are not seen are ETERNAL. Did you hear that? He is giving you BEAUTY for your ASHES. All those shattered dreams, that rejection, that abandonment, that self hatred, those failures…. Ashes all of it… but ashes just blow away. And the Refiner of our hearts is creating a new thing. Like gold is refined through the fire, so our hearts are refined in this furnace of trials and tribulations (1 Pet. 4:12-14) if we but say YES to His Love in the middle of it. In the midst of the questions, as we journey on without knowing the way… as we come up leaning on His faithfulness rather than our own fleshly might our hearts are being refined and something beautiful is being formed… something of eternal value. We are being made into a Bride fit for a King. We are being given beauty for our ashes.

:: O God, I will receive this wonderful exchange. I will take Your Beauty for my ashes…. How can you be this good? ::

So Thankful

2009-11-26T00:01:00.003-05:00

There is so much that I am thankful for, but today, I want to share a few thoughts on one of the most important people in my life: My mom.

She came to Virginia to spend a week with me for the Thanksgiving holiday, and I didn't realize how much I've missed her until I picked her up from the airport and kissed her cheek! Ah, there's NOTHING like a mom. I mean, there's nothing and no one that could ever take the place of a mother. I love my mom and am SO thankful and grateful for her life. Just being in the same room with her is inspiring. I love that God loves me so much, that He would spoil me with an amazing mom. Wow. He's so good!

My mom has been in town since Saturday, and so far she's met almost every friend, confidant, co-worker, pastor, mentor, etc. involved with my life... I mean, my house has been a revolving door since the first day she arrived - EVERYONE has been either SO excited to meet her for the first time or so excited to see her again! We've had lots of laughs and amazing conversations with just about everyone! I love friends and family. So far, My mom and I have had a ball! I've spoiled her with some fun events, kept everything a secret and surprised her with some cool things along the way. It's been fun! This afternoon, I am looking forward to spending time with my mom and a few friends around the Thanksgiving meal table. So excited! This is going to be another amazing holiday with amazing people who will inspire me through a lifetime!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Read Your Life Backward

2009-11-23T11:27:00.000-05:00

Very good early morning devotional by Max Lucado

God is working in you to help you want to do and be able to do what pleases him.
Philippians 2:13 NCV

What God said about Jeremiah, he said about you: “Before I made you in your mother’s womb, I chose you. Before you were born, I set you apart for a special work” (Jer. 1:5 NCV).

Set apart for a special work.

God shaped you according to yours. How else can you explain yourself? Your ability to diagnose an engine problem by the noise it makes, to bake a cake without a recipe. You knew the Civil War better than your American history teacher. You know the name of every child in the orphanage. How do you explain such quirks of skill?

God. He knew young Israel would need a code, so he gave Moses a love for the law. He knew the doctrine of grace would need a fiery advocate, so he set Paul ablaze. And in your case, he knew what your generation would need and gave it. He designed you. And his design defines your destiny. Remember Peter’s admonition? “If anyone ministers, let him do it as with the ability which God supplies” (1 Pet. 4:11).

I encountered walking proof of this truth on a trip to Central America. Dave, a fellow American, was celebrating his sixty-first birthday with friends at the language school where my daughter was studying Spanish. My question—“What brings you here?”—opened a biographical floodgate. Drugs, sex, divorce, jail—Dave’s first four decades read like a gangster’s diary. But then God called him. Just as God called Moses, Paul, and millions, God called Dave.

His explanation went something like this. “I’ve always been able to fix things. All my life when stuff broke, people called me. A friend told me about poor children in Central America, so I came up with an idea. I find homes with no fathers and no plumbing. I install sinks and toilets and love kids. That’s what I do. That’s what I was made to do.”

Sounds like Dave has found the cure for the common life. He’s living in his sweet spot. What about you? What have you always done well? And what have you always loved to do?

That last question trips up a lot of well-meaning folks. God wouldn’t let me do what I like to do—would he? According to Paul, he would. “God is working in you to help you want to do and be able to do what pleases him” (Phil. 2:13 NCV). Your Designer couples the “want to” with the “be able to.” Desire shares the driver’s seat with ability. “Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart” (Ps. 37:4 NIV). Your Father is too gracious to assign you to a life of misery. As Thomas Aquinas wrote, “Human life would seem to consist in that in which each man most delights, that for which he especially strives, and that which he particularly wishes to share with his friends.”

So go ahead; reflect on your life. What have you always done well and loved to do?

Some find such a question too simple. Don’t we need to measure something? Aptitude or temperament? We consult teachers and tea leaves, read manuals and horoscopes. We inventory spiritual gifts and ancestors. While some of these strategies might aid us, a simpler answer lies before us. Or, better stated, lies within us.

The oak indwells the acorn. Read your life backward and check your supplies. Rerelish your moments of success and satisfaction. For in the merger of the two, you find your uniqueness.

Favorite Kid Quote of The Day

2009-11-12T21:34:00.005-05:00

My friend had a conversation with her 5-year-old daughter, Haillee, today. It went like this:

Haillee asked her mom what a "period" was. Her mom asked her where she heard about it... Haillee said, "You know, mom... when I read!" "Phew!" said Haillee's mom. "...was sure glad I hadn't launched into the OTHER "period" conversation!"

Priceless.

Have. You. No. King?

2009-11-10T15:00:00.006-05:00

This is from one of my favorite writers, and I wanted to share. I've been saving this one to add to my blog and just now got around to it. It's a good read and it's worth sharing. It's the writers thoughts on a scripture she had been meditating on, and it's a good reminder of allowing Jesus to be King in our lives. I love how the Father reminds us of who He is in the softest of ways...

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By Rachel Anne Ridge

I fought Micah 4:9 almost as much as Isaiah 51:1, maybe because it's so personal. But in the end, I decided that since this blog is about sharing where I'm at, and because I've never pretended to have it all together, I realized I should go ahead and share my spiritual journey. Even if it's not that pretty.

A couple of months ago, I found myself at home late at night, completely alone. It was one of those times when you can really CRY over something and not feel embarrassed or inhibited. And I was bawling my eyes out over our desperate business crisis: the cancellation of several projects had left us with no income and nothing on the immediate horizon. It had caught us so unaware, so unprepared, and I was in a state of panic and anger and frustration. Also, terror played a minor yet significant role.

I could not believe that we'd worked this hard, this long, only to fail. Where was the justice in all this? For someone who avoids crying, these cries came from the depths of my toes, and these were not the pretty, gentle tears of mild disappointment. Oh no, these were torrents of bottled up emotion.

I don't know how long I was sobbing, but finally, in sheer desperation, I grabbed my Bible. I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep in this state, so I might as well read something.

I opened the Book and I could barely see through my tears as my eyes fell on Micah 4:9. The words shot right off of the page.

"Why do you now cry aloud?"

Oh, I wish I could act this out for you because I literally choked on my sob. Waaah-huh? I wiped my face and blinked my eyes and re-read it:

"Why do you now cry aloud?"

I froze and looked around the room, moving only my eyes. I knew.

God had showed up to speak to me in that moment.

Then I read the next line:

"Have. You. No. King?"

I can only describe the next moment as a rush of answers, flooding me like a river. Exposed, humbled, ashamed, I could only close my eyes and confess that I have been living like I have no King. No ruler. No one to watch over or care for me. I've been acting like a nomad, wandering about, making my own decisions, and becoming a warlord of my own kingdom.

In truth, I've set my own self up on the throne of my heart. I've expected provision to come by my own hand. I've cherished my own self above the King of kings. I've put my own thoughts, my own desires, my own ambitions first. And this had nothing, and everything, to with our financial struggle. The question cut through to the heart of the whole matter.

Have you no king?

In that same moment of realization, I knew that Jesus alone should be my King. And that by the very act of confessing it, I was putting Him back on the throne of my life.

But it hit me that I didn't know a whole lot about Jesus as King. And that's when I began to meditate on His Kingship. His kingdom. His reign over me. What it means to be in submission to a King. I've whispered "Jesus, YOU are my King," a thousand times in the last few weeks. Jesus, BE my King.

So I've embarked on a journey to discover Him as King, and I wonder if you would join me today? The Christian faith might be new to you, but I want to encourage you to take a small step with me. If you are searching for answers, they can be found in the pages of the Bible and the King who is revealed there.

terrilashae photography - jon & jenny

2009-11-03T00:00:00.001-05:00

An interesting tidbit about me: I love photography! Jon & Jenny are a beautiful couple, and I had the privilege of taking their engagement photos. Here are a few I'd like to share. Enjoy!

Obedience or Independence?

2009-11-02T11:05:00.005-05:00

This is something I read this morning, and it rocked my socks off! Thought I'd share... Happy Monday!

_______________________________________________________

By, Oswald Chambers

If you love Me, keep My commandments —John 14:15

Our Lord never insists obedience. He stresses very definitely what we ought to do, but He never forces us to do it. We have to obey Him out of a oneness of spirit with Him. That is why whenever our Lord talked about discipleship, He prefaced it with an "If," meaning, "You do not need to do this unless you desire to do so." "If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself . . ." ( Luke 9:23 ). In other words, "To be My disciple, let him give up his right to himself to Me." Our Lord is not talking about our eternal position, but about our being of value to Him in this life here and now. That is why He sounds so stern (see Luke 14:26 ). Never try to make sense from these words by separating them from the One who spoke them.

The Lord does not give me rules, but He makes His standard very clear. If my relationship to Him is that of love, I will do what He says without hesitation. If I hesitate, it is because I love someone I have placed in competition with Him, namely, myself. Jesus Christ will not force me to obey Him, but I must. And as soon as I obey Him, I fulfill my spiritual destiny. My personal life may be crowded with small, petty happenings, altogether insignificant. But if I obey Jesus Christ in the seemingly random circumstances of life, they become pinholes through which I see the face of God. Then, when I stand face to face with God, I will discover that through my obedience thousands were blessed. When God’s redemption brings a human soul to the point of obedience, it always produces. If I obey Jesus Christ, the redemption of God will flow through me to the lives of others, because behind the deed of obedience is the reality of Almighty God.

In Like, FOREVER

2009-10-29T08:17:00.004-04:00

I feel like I haven't blogged in like, forever! :) My life has been crazy busy, and I'm sad at the fact that I haven't had the time to sit down to write... Alas! There's good news! I'm going to return to writing this weekend because that's when things should return to normal in my world. I miss writing and my bones feel dry for the lack there of... Can't wait to get started again!

Below is one of my favorite songs by Misty Edwards & band. Hope it blesses you today! Muah!

Favorite Kid Quote of The Day

2009-10-22T14:33:00.011-04:00

A while ago, I used to babysit an amazing 4-year-old kid named Chase. Over the past week, his attitude wasn't quite the best - he'd been fighting with other students and not doing his schoolwork or participating in activities. So, after picking him up from school one day, I asked him to tell me about his day. Here's the extent of the conversation.

Me: Hey homie! How was school today?
Him: Okay. But I didn't get in trouble today! (as he munches on a peanut butter cracker)
Me: That's awesome!!
Him: You wanna know why? (totally excited)
Me: Sure, buddy!
Him: Because Jason made me upset today and I almost got in trouble, but then I remembered what my mommy read to me last night about loving my friends and so I didn't get upset at Jason and fight or be mean. (all in one breath) And you wanna know something else?
Me: Sure!
Him:

"For if we love one to another, then we will be much happy."

...I couldn't have said it better myself.

I'm A New Fan!!

2009-10-20T14:01:00.005-04:00

I am a new fan of BarlowGirl! I feel like I've been under a rock or something! I LOVE this group!

A girl at my church danced to this song this past Sunday, and I almost cried! It was so beautiful! So, I tracked it down so I could share it with you! Hope you enjoy!

	BarlowGirl - Surrender

	Found at bee mp3 search engine

With My Morning Coffee

2009-10-13T08:06:00.017-04:00

There's nothing like some Laura Woodley early in the morning... This is from her 'In Love' album. Happy Tuesday, all.

Into The Light, by Laura Woodley

The Presence of Integrity

2009-10-06T00:00:00.026-04:00

Do whatever it takes to deal with the issues of integrity in your life. Do whatever it takes to walk in purity (truth & authenticity).

I remember the first time I heard the word integrity and actually took it to heart. I was a sophomore at Oral Roberts University, and I was walking with a friend who was sharing with me their concept of leadership. I remember our time together being very fruitful because I walked away from the conversation challenged about being a leader and about this word called integrity. At the time (and a little while after), I thought integrity only meant, "who you are when no one is looking," but it wasn't until recently that I learned it means so much more. Besides ethics and moral character, I learned through a word study that integrity means 'integer' or the state of being whole. Integrity is huge in relationships, finances, friendships and even our walk with the Lord. A person of integrity is a person of their word; they are ruthlessly honest. And being ruthlessly honest means having a healthy fear of God. It means that you love God more than your desire to disappoint man... As I try to live my life after Christ, with no walls and as transparent as possible, I've got to share that a few months ago, those few principles was not only a reminder, but a stern wake-up call for me.

There was an area in my life where I lived life thinking I've been integral in certain situations when I have not. My word fell through on certain promises, I had not been faithful in certain situations and I certainly had not been ruthlessly honest with myself, others or the Lord. I've even told a little "white lie" before - you know that kind of lie that is partially the truth, but not really. For example, it's a "white lie" when you tell a friend you can't hang out because you have other plans, when really, you do not and you just want to avoid them. Or, calling your boss to tell them you're late because of traffic when actually you're late because you decided to sleep in 15 extra minutes or because you wanted to finish watching Good Morning America. "White lies" slip in in instances where you really don't want to tell your friend the whole truth because you're afraid that they'll not want to be your friend anymore, so you tell a partial truth in good faith. You do the right thing the wrong way. In essence, all "white lies" do is cloud the presence of integrity. "White lies" are what I call silent assassins because they leave seeds that eventually grow to quench the root of internal integrity - when the Holy Spirit convicts, we hear and we obey it.

Growing up, my mother would always tell me, "Terri, swear to your own hurt and change not." "What does that even mean?!" I would think. I didn't see it then, but even as a child, my mother was teaching me about the presence of integrity; she was actually quoting scripture. The latter part of Psalm 15:4 says, "...He swears to his own hurt and does not change." It means, be a person who makes firm on commitments and do not change. Speak the truth outwardly and in your heart. Even if it hurts, do what you say you're going to do. Forgive and then model that forgiveness by not changing, reneging or keeping record of wrongs. Being firm.

As I move towards a greater presence of integrity in my life, I know that God's grace is sufficient. It makes me cry every time I think of it. Even when we mess up, we get to try again. And, although grace is there, God also holds us accountable to His standards; walking in integrity is part of the fabric of God, being truthful is a part of His standard(s). In this instance of integrity, developing a healthy fear of God will keep us mindful of "white lies." We'll not want to tell them; instead, we'll want the truth to pour out of us because that's all that's in us. Practice purity because purity is not an absence of evil, but a presence of light.

What's your biggest struggle with integrity? Are you a person of integrity? Do you keep your word? Are you transparent and honest with others and with God?

Be faithful. Keep moving forward.

"The integrity of the upright will guide them..." Proverbs 11:3

He Is Faithful

2009-10-05T17:04:00.005-04:00

I was planning to blog today, have all sorts of things to share, but as I listened to this song over and over and over and over again during my quiet time, I thought I'd share this instead of a few words...

Beyond all else, He is faithful!

In Heavy Rotation

2009-10-02T15:16:00.006-04:00

I LOVE music. Thought I'd end the blog week by sharing my music list with you. In heavy rotation on my iPod this week:

Jake Hamilton - "Marked" & "The Anthem"
Nina Landis - "Tired," "Gluttons At A Table" & "Greatest Weapon"
Jake Newton - "Burn In My Cage"
Fred Hammond - "Show Me Your Face"
Chasen - "Nothing Like You'
Hillsong - "Desert Song" & "I Will Exalt You"
Canton Jones - "Doin' It Big," "5 seconds" & "Warrior"
Cory Asbury - "My Beloved"
Ryan Edgar "We Become"
Kari Jobe - "The More I Seek You"
John David Helser - "Fly"
Christmas music (I play it all year long!)

NOTABLES:
Miles Davis
ColdPlay
James Morrison
Frank Sinatra
FAME Soundtrack
Press Play
Matt Gilman
Oren Lavie

P.S. If you've never heard of some of these people, I strongly encourage you to check'm out! Happy Friday!

Counting Blessings

2009-09-28T11:38:00.047-04:00

I am so thankful for new seasons... For me, seasons are new beginnings, a change of pace, a chance to be refreshed, a chance to do something different, see something different, try again, be... again, start over, grow. In particular, I HEART the fall season. I anticipate the fall season like I anticipate my favorite holiday (Christmas) or my birthday. I love, love, love, love the fall. I heart pumpkins, pumpkin seeds, candy corn, sweet potato pie (my mom's, of course!) and hot apple cider. I heart fall retreats, going to the mountains, campfires and wearing long sleeves. I love inhaling a good crisp, fall breeze. I think VA is most beautiful in the fall; just take a look at these pictures - all from VA. Can't wait for the leaves to look like this!

This weekend, I had a chance to spend an entire day with Jenny! I am so blessed by her life. Most importantly, I am thankful, grateful to God for allowing our paths to cross and for the opportunity to model Christ, influence & pour into her life. I met Jenny almost two years ago when she joined a small group I was leading with three other beautiful women from our young adult ministry called, AWAKE. Jenny LOVES Jesus, is an English teacher, just recently engaged (yay!) and most of all; Jenny is a blessing. I like to tell her, "she keeps me on my p's and q's" all the time... Besides hanging out in our favorite coffee shops, discovering cool little stores, having amazing Jesus/life conversations at the beach or anywhere, I love walking through and discovering life with her. She's even in the final stages of beginning a Wyldlife middle school ministry in the area where she teaches! She works hard and is amazing -"Do all that's in your heart..."

Every year, VABeach has a Neptune Festival on the beach in celebration of the fall. This weekend, there was a 36 block parade, sand castle building contests, misc. contests, concerts, vendors, etc. So fun! During the festival, there was a national cake show/contest and my friend Beth submitted one of her cakes! So proud of her! She did very well and was graded (no trophies, just national recognition) very high! Beth loves to bake and she'll be the first to tell you that God was the one to develop the dream of a baking business. She's so talented and extremely creative! Oh, and her cakes are not only gorgeous, but they taste GOOD, too! It's been a blessing to watch God walk her through the doors she'd never thought she'd enter. Way to go, B!

*(become a fan of Beth's Sweet Experiments on Facebook)

Need A Good Laugh?

2009-09-25T10:11:00.000-04:00

Then, watch these... If you have never heard of "Hoops & Yoyo," you should get familiar with them, fast! They're animated Hallmark greeting cards and they are hilarious! I know today is Friday, but I found these two on YouTube and I could not stop crackin' up! These little guys are so stinkin' funny! If you work in a cubicle, you could probably relate.

Happy Friday & have a great weekend! Hugs!

Desert Song & Testimony

2009-09-24T10:48:00.008-04:00

A friend passed along this video to me, and I cried. My tears were a reflection of a deep brokenness I had been feeling for quite some time, yet through it all, I've kept this song in my heart. As of late, I've felt like I've been able to feel the wind of His presence again, and it feels so great and assuring. "All of my life, in EVERY season, YOU are still GOD, and I have a reason to sing..." Check out this testimony and song (Desert Song by Hillsongs). I've loved this song for a long time, and I had no idea of the testimony behind it.

A Note on Solitude

2009-09-22T12:02:00.004-04:00

"Retire from the world each day to some private spot, even if it be only the bedroom (for a while I retreated to the furnace room for want of a better place). Stay in the secret place till the surrounding noises begin to fade out of your heart and a sense of God’s presence envelops you… Listen for the inward Voice till you learn to recognize it. Stop trying to compete with others. Give yourself to God and then be what and who you are without regard to what others think… Learn to pray inwardly every moment. After a while you can do this even while you work… Read less, but more of what is important to your inner life. Never let your mind remain scattered for very long. Call home your roving thoughts. Gaze on Christ with the eyes of your soul. Practice spiritual concentration. All the above is contingent upon a right relation to God through Christ and daily meditation on the Scriptures."

~A.W. Tozer

He Touched Me

2009-09-11T09:08:00.004-04:00

something i wrote a while ago and came across the other day...

"He Touched Me"

he wants all of me
my bags, my fears, lies, sins, disguise
he wants it all

and after i touched Him
after i crawled and bawled
and screamed and scraped
i got to enter into His gates
because i touched Him

me, the woman with the issues
more issues than a subscription
with struggles that have become an addiction
me, the woman with the issues
the woman who's been abused
the one confused, battered and broken
the one judged by the out-spoken
i was transformed and changed
because i touched Him

i was an outcast because
i had done things
and i was bleeding
needing someone to stop my hemorrhage
someone to see my true image
spirit, soul and body
i've embodied my many issues
and i, touched Him

He saw me all along
He knew i was coming
to draw virtue from His garment
He knew i'd arrive on my knees
in thee most humbled of positions
and, as i transitioned from my knees to His lap
He began to tell me
who I am
He said

daughter of the Most High
I knew you before the ages
rise up and take your place
you don't belong in these cages
you were created in My image
anything less is outrageous
you are beautiful
you are esteemed
I have not forgotten you
you are redeemed
and you walk with My breath in your lungs

then He, touched me
He touched my identity crisis
He took death's license
and revoked every attack on my life
death is over
rejection, over
fear is over
shame is over
guilt, over
low-self esteem is over
abuse, over

Lord, because You have touched me
I am made new
my mind, my body, my spirit
all wrapped up and around and inside and through You

because You touched me.

Love This Song

2009-09-10T00:00:00.002-04:00

Sometimes a song can say it much better than I can write it. I forgot how much I loved this song. It's refreshing.

by Matt Gilman

Happy Thursday!

SWAG

2009-09-09T00:13:00.002-04:00

I learned about a site called urban dictionary.com from a friend awhile ago, and found it quite hilarious when I stumbled upon this site again while looking up a definition for the word, swag. I normally don't frequent this site, but I thought this definition was interesting.

swag: The level of confidence that defines an individual. One with swagger engages life so effectively that others not only acknowledge their presence but "feel" it. The way in which you carry yourself. Swag is made up of your overall confidence, style, and demeanor. Reputation.

The other day, I was in Wal-Mart and I heard a 5 year-old boy singing a song by a rapper named Souljah Boy called, "Turn My Swag On." Here are some of the lyrics:

Hopped up out the bed turn my swag on
Took a look in the mirror said what's up?
Yeah, I'm getting money, oh

Turn my swag on
It's my time to turn it up, yeah, yeah
I put my team on, did my theme song
Now it's time to turn it up, yeah, yeah

I got a question why they hatin' on me
I got a question why they hatin' on me
I ain't did nothing to 'em but count this money
And put my team on and now my hold click stunny

Boy wat's up, yeah? Boy wat's up, yeah?
When I was nine years old
I put it in my head, I'ma die for this gold
Soulja Boy Tell 'Em, boy what's up?

Hopped up out the bed turn my swag on
Took a look in the mirror said what's up?
Yea, I'm getting money, oh...

I thought this was so interesting. In the song, he's talking about waking up in the morning and putting on a particular mindset, confidence... swag. His swag was/is his reputation and it defined him. His goal is success, money and in this song, every morning, he puts on his swag and moves toward those goals. Remember, the definition above defines swag as "a level of confidence. overall style, demeanor and reputation." See where I'm going with this? Real talk.

What do you put on in the morning? I was at work today, and I could not figure out why EVERYTHING was going wrong. My attitude wasn't the best, I was overwhelmed with work, overwhelmed with the thought of 'running out of time,' and frustrated at just about everything. I felt like, if someone were to push me over, I would easily fall. When I awakened this morning, I didn't put or turn my swag on. And, in this case, my swag is the armor of God. I didn't 'put on' who I wanted to represent. My mindset wasn't renewed. I totally ran out of the house (because I was late) without cracking open my Bible or stopping to put my armor on:

Eph. 6:13-18
Therefore, take up the full armor of God, so that you will be able to resist in the evil day, and having done everything, to stand firm. Stand firm therefore, HAVING GIRDED YOUR LOINS WITH TRUTH, and HAVING PUT ON THE BREASTPLATE OF RIGHTEOUSNESS, and having shod YOUR FEET WITH THE PREPARATION OF THE GOSPEL OF PEACE; in addition to all, taking up the shield of faith with which you will be able to extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. And take THE HELMET OF SALVATION, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

Never get too busy for God. I believe that my day at work would've turned out much differently if I had of prioritized my swag. Trust me, lesson learned. I seem to be learning a lot of simple truths again, lately. Thank you Jesus for another day to get it right!

When you wake up in the morning, do you put your swag on?

Worth It All

2009-09-04T13:52:00.007-04:00

It's 75 degrees, the leaves are starting to change color, I'm driving my Red Volkswagen Beetle with the sunroof open and the windows down. As I'm breathing in the afternoon air, this is what I'm listening to:

Happy Friday, all. Have a great Labor Day weekend.

Reminder in The Dark

2009-09-02T12:16:00.020-04:00

As a television producer, I spend a lot of time in the edit suite. Each suite is virtually soundproof, and there's minimal light (with the exception of the computer monitors and plasma screens) - just the way I like it... and for good reason.

Today, I had a very good conversation with a friend about honesty, obedience, relationship. It was a conversation that I knew the Lord wanted me to bring up weeks ago, but in my disobedience, my friend brought a few things to my attention, first. We talked for over an hour, and after the conversation, I felt like I wanted to cry. So many thoughts raced through my mind: "Did my friend lose a bit of trust in me? Terri, how could you..." In turn, I felt like I let my friend down and it crushed me. (Real talk). The conversation ended well, but I felt like I failed somehow, I had knots in my stomach, I couldn't think straight, and all I wanted to do was pray. And since I was at work, I went to one of the most quiet and secluded places I knew of - the edit suite.

I closed the door to the suite, dimmed the lights, reached across my laptop and turned on some worship music. I sat in the corner and I wept. I started thinking about what it must feel like when we can often reject Jesus with our actions, our time, conversation, habits, lies, mistrust, disobedience... The tears kept coming as my heart turned and turned because like my friend whom I love, I want Jesus to know that He can count on me.

The more I thought about loving Jesus, the more I cried. "Lord, I don't ever want to take You for granted," I whispered. "I don't ever want to miss you speaking because my life is meaningless without you. I don't ever want my life to reflect itself, I want it to reflect you." My tears turned to sobs, deep sobs. I started repenting for all the times I let "things" take the place of Him. I started repenting for living a life that can so easily be perceived one way, instead of living a life that should be fully perceived His way.

As I cried, I just felt weak. My eyes were closed and I could envision an egg being cracked all the way around. When that shell fell off, there was another layer and then another, each layer thicker than the last. After what seemed like a 'lifetime' of cracking, I saw the middle of the egg. In the middle was a gorgeous multi-colored stone, shining brightly. And through that, I was reminded that He is my hiding place and safe refuge. And as my life is being cracked, broken, shaped and re-shaped, I'm being transformed into a valuable and useful vessel. His hand is on my life, and He is pleased with me. And because he's with me, I will not fear.

What a great reminder. That probably had to have been the best cry I've had in a long time...

Favorite Kid Quote of The Day

2009-08-27T13:34:00.007-04:00

This one turned my hectic-not-so-good-rough-day into a smile...

[all in one breath]

"So today was my first day at kindergarten and you know what I did at lunch time? I shared my food with Allison because Allison didn't like anything she was eating, and I said to her, Allison we're gonna be best friends because when I don't want my food, I know you'll share with me too. I like to share because it makes people happy. Thank you Jesus because I just love my heart..."

Whom Love Pursued

2009-08-19T10:43:00.008-04:00

Recently, I was featured on CBN.com/Interactive. I gave my testimony via spoken word. It's on YouTube.

WatchMan

2009-08-14T08:35:00.013-04:00

WatchMan (Is. 62)
by Terri Simmons

I, will exalt You
I will not be silent, I will not keep quiet
giving You everything
my heart, my ways, my eyes, my hands
I'll exalt You with
my speech, my time, my mind, my actions
its not about personal satisfaction
it's about my agenda being tossed
and answering Your call for the lost
its about You being pleased with me
In You, I will abide
I'll give You my devotion, my pride
my life, and all the stuff inside
I'll surrender my dreams for Your dreams
my goals for obedience, Lord I'm here
I'm here to intercede and watch for Your coming
never slumbering, never ceasing, never stopping
on the frontline
keeping the enemy from breaching
Your kingdom
I, will exalt You with
waiting on the wall, looking for You
standing where no one wants to stand
linked, hand and hand with my brothers and sisters in the faith
alert and listening for Your breath,
waiting for a hint and waiting to be sent
a prayer warrior called for battle
rattle me with Your words, pursue me with Your message
and then I'll take the passage less traveled
taking no rest for myself and accepting it as wealth
when Your kingdom is glorified
and if You were to change my name
change it to Watchman because I want to be first
I thirst to be used by You
to be called by You, to take the truth and share it
to represent the truth and wear it
to not only speak Your cross but bare it
use me to sound the alarm
use me, like a lighthouse in a sea of darkness
and I will raise a banner for the nations
a Watchman on the wall
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*something i wrote and performed for a young adult conference called Tidewater I-62 "awakening a student prayer movement" (based on Is. 62)

Wash Me

2009-08-13T11:36:00.004-04:00

When I opened my eyes this morning, this song was swirling in my mind. It made me smile to get out of bed and look out the window at a cloudy sky and a few raindrops clinging to my windowsill. It reminded me of how refreshing the presence of the Lord is. So fitting for the day...

I Will Exalt You

2009-08-10T18:58:00.004-04:00

Feeling a bit down today... then I remembered to exalt Him. And in doing that, I was quickly shaken of insecurities and taken to a place of total peace and restoration. I love to be in His presence. Here's another one for my worship video series...

My Beloved

2009-08-10T10:24:00.004-04:00

Makes me wanna get outta my seat and dance! So fitting for the day...

Eph. 3:17 ...And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

I Surrender

2009-08-07T08:38:00.007-04:00

Appropriate for the day...

I Love Mornings

2009-08-05T08:45:00.009-04:00

"Rise. You who direct our
paths each new day. with
afflatus adventures and
sudden mysteries, your,
glory brings me joy,
your officious rays wake me."

by

"Awake Us"

2009-07-29T15:22:00.014-04:00

I wrote/recorded/performed this for our young adult ministry called, AWAKE

http://awakenedramblings.blogspot.com/
http://awakenyourself.net/

What Is Your Life Mission Statement?

2009-07-23T00:59:00.002-04:00

Yesterday, a friend asked me what my life mission statement was, and although I have one, I took exceptionally long answering her question. I mean, I put together a pretty good life's mission statement a few years ago, tucked it away neatly into one of my journals and slowly... forgot about it. "What do you mean?" I asked my friend. Even though I asked, of course I knew what she meant; she wanted to know who Jesus is to me, what motivates me, what I live by, what my purpose is, what I'm called to do, what I'd like to do, my vision, my dream, values, passion, etc. about and through my life. The more I thought about it, the more I realized how much my old life mission statement has changed.

I found that the older I get and the more I seek the Lord, my heart becomes more pliable and all I want to do is please my heavenly Father. I want to talk about Him and share Him with those who don't know Him like I do. I want to share my life experiences, my testimony because I know that "what is most personal is most universal." Meaning, there's probably nothing I've gone through and have been delivered from that someone else hasn't experienced. And the beauty in that is, the freedom I've found in my testimony and in Christ can always be used to heal other people.

About a year ago, I wrote a poem called, "Whom Love Pursued." It's a poem about my testimony that I turned into a spoken word performance, and I use it as a tool for ministry. I expose the things that used to be hidden in my life, bringing EVERYTHING to light. A portion of that poem is below:

she sits in distress, concerned and under arrest
she sits in her pretty pink dress afraid to tell her mom
because she'd make a mess of things
she's six and he, he cornered her
she's not even old enough to write legible
his decibels rang in her ears, "Touch it!"
she sits in distress, concerned and under arrest
her heart beats out of her chest
she's too young to be shaken from the nest
but satan's jest, was to destroy her...

In conjunction with this poem, I had a conversation with a family member last night about generational issues. And, as painful as that conversation was, I recognized a line of generational issues running through my family that made me want to fight somebody. Seriously. I was so angry at how we can so easily allow, overlook, turn away from, deny, keep secret, lie, not recognize, close our eyes to or refuse to admit generational issues. It's a killer. Really. ...until someone decides to allow God to break every form of bondage, every form of secrecy, every form of generational baggage in their lives, and then refuse to carry it any further. By the end of the conversation, I was even more fired up about how I want to live this life.

So far, here are a few of my life mission sentences: to use my actions, speech and breath to expose darkness and bring it to the light by growing in Jesus and not being afraid to speak His name. i see poetry and media as a creative avenue for me to use my personality to spread the gospel. i dream of being an author, traveling the world speaking to and highlighting the lives of young adults...

What about you? Hope this helps:

-What is your life's purpose? Why do you exist? What do you stand for?
-What is your calling? Gifts, talents, abilities...
-What is your vision, goal? It should be a big one. I once heard this quote, "Your dream should be so big that if God wasn't in it, it'd be doomed to fail."
-What is your mission? How are you going to accomplish the above?

Do not cling to events of the past or dwell on what happened long ago. Watch for the new thing I am going to do. It is happening already - you can see it now. Isaiah 43:18, (The Living Bible)

Favorite Kid Quote of The Day

2009-07-21T11:45:00.005-04:00

My friend's 3-year old nephew was talking to his mom, but his mom could not hear him. When she said, "Speak up Benjamin," the 3-year old replied:

"I will not repeat myself. I will speak up so as to be heard!"

Morning Poem

2009-07-21T11:24:00.003-04:00

"morning"

you are like morning
a countless detail in the thread of life
somewhere between mediocre and magnificent is you
a breath of fresh air during sunrise
a reminder of that same air at dusk

you are like morning
new and clear in your convictions
there are no restrictions about who you are

the essence of your character is
like a fresh, blue wind
blue, because you’re royal
blue, because you’re loyal
blue, because your words are baby powder fresh
yes, you are like morning

you, are forever
like the smell of fresh rain
on a cloudy day
like, the ebullient heat from
a sun’s ray

and if you ever feel slightly fatigued
don’t worry, God will be with you
just follow and He'll lead
He’ll replenish your cup and
brush off your knees, He’ll lift you up
above roaring seas – because you are
morning.

thank you for dipping into wisdom’s pool
touching the humble hearts of many

thank you for representing our God
with your adjectives because it is clear
that God is a verb, in you

thank you for giving, for listening, for praying,
for laughing, for loving

thank you for being a friend,
dear, morning.

just what you need, when you need it

2009-07-19T21:37:00.014-04:00

Weekend Recap:

Okay, I'll admit it; this week has been pretty tough. I've found myself in tears more often than not because it seemed as if I've been taking one hit after another... all week and all day long. Nevertheless, God knew exactly what I needed, when I needed it...

He is jealous for me
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden,
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realize just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me.
And oh, how He loves us so,
Oh, how He loves us,
How He loves us all
Yeah, He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us... -john mark mcmillan

Just when I thought that there was no hope for my day, I found out that John Mark McMillan was leading a night of worship for a conference near my house. And I've gotta tell ya; there's nothing like a refreshing night of worship to change your perspective on things. It was just what I needed - a chance to release the burdens, anxiety and concerns I carried. A chance to allow God to wash over me with His love. After worship, I drove to the beach and sat on the sand and watched a beautiful, quiet storm until around midnight. I mean, literally, the sky rippled with lightening without sound! Since I live near the beach, I've learned that one of the most beautiful things to see is lightening over the ocean while the sun is setting - AMAZINGLY GORGEOUS! Wow. Friday night turned my not-so-good-day into a good day after all.
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And on the 6th day, I rested. Oh, thank the Lord for Saturday! I made SURE to sleep in just a tad bit longer this day because I definitely needed it! Not to mention, I didn't get home the day before until 3a.m.! When I awakened - I did some reading, took a stroll on the beach and then back home for some QT with some friends who stopped by. Ah, what a refreshing day!

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Oooooh Sunday, how I love thee! ;) The message at church was all about overcoming limitations and dealing with heart issues. Thought-provoking at the least. Have you ever listened to a speaker and tried to take notes at the same time, but realized that everything the speaker said is something you've wanted to write down but couldn't write fast enough? Well, today I had one of those moments. I just stopped writing and soaked in what I heard. I'll have to go back and listen to the podcast later... After church, I found myself back at the beach for about four hours, hanging with Jenny and then QT with some of my girls...and one guy - Kristin, Jenny and Jon! We got together and cooked dinner (lasagna, fruit salad and garlic bread - YUM-O!), played connect four and watched a movie! Good times!!!

our chef!

concentrating on victory...

best lasagna filling ever...

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Even in the little things, God is so awesome to pursue me with just what I need, when I need it. Whether it's a refreshing day at the beach, some QT with friends or a night of beautiful worship, He is faithful.

To you, the reader: I pray that this week you have an amazing week in the Lord. I pray that you experience new things, meet new people and flourish in abundance and favor!

I Know He's There

2009-07-14T16:08:00.022-04:00

A few strands of her brown hair swayed back-and-forth as the wind blew, and Megan sat snug in her puffy white pamper, wading her hands through the sand. Her little legs looked like tiny pillows at the touch as they kicked every time she smiled. Megan seemed happy sitting in the sand; her tiny hands leaving prints and swirls in the space all around her. Every so often, I wondered what she thought when she lifted her head to stare at the ocean. For some reason, the waves crashing against the shore caught her attention a lot faster than the cute, bronze-haired little puppy with the pink collar, running aimlessly in front of her. She often looked back and smiled at whatever, but it was clear that her attention was focused on the sand.

"Ah, there you are, sweetheart!"

Megan kicked, giggled and grasped the sand with her tiny hands as her mom crawled toward her.

"Don't put the sand in your mouth," mom said as Megan began her routine of lifting her left thumb to her mouth. But when mom said ,"no," she started kicking and smiling but this time, funny faces followed. Her mom picked her up and walked toward the ocean. Megan kicked and screamed at first, reaching for the sand, but her sporadic tantrum ended quickly when she realized her mom was carrying her to the water.

I smiled as I watched her mom lift and partially submerge Megan's tiny body in and out of the water. So much joy radiated from her small, round, little face that it probably made others around wish they were playing in the water, too. After about ten minutes of playing at the water's edge, Megan was back on the beach, wading in the sand...

I smiled, plugged in my iPod, sunk deep into my beach chair and purposed to took a brief nap. When I awakened, a nice, golden dust color appeared above the horizon as the sun started to set behind the ocean. This day was moreorless picture-perfect as a full moon shined above. Megan was fast asleep in her mother's lap.

As I began packing away my books, beach chair and towel, I began thinking about the love of our heavenly Father. It made me smile to know that He precedes me and follows me. He knows my every move and He's strategic about my life. I enjoy being alone with Him because there's nothing else competing for my attention. And when he speaks, I may not always like it, but I know His words are life and are for my good. I'm His child and He is familiar with the intricate details of my life. He's even there to say, "Terri, don't put the sand in your mouth!" - like Megan's mom. He's my authority and Shepard. He carries my burdens and concerns. All-in-all, I know He's there.

Morning Song.

2009-07-12T22:45:00.003-04:00

Jesus, i love you. let your heart beat within me.
draw near so I can adore you. teach me
obedience so I can prosper. cause my
face to shine as I cling to your life and
your words. I arrest my will to radiate
your deepest beauty, your thoughts and
your life.

Favorite Kid Quote of The Day

2009-07-12T21:56:00.004-04:00

Daejah, 5

"Well actually, I didn't want to watch a movie today. I just wanted to read the story of Noah and the animals. I have to know everything about him so I can talk to him when I get to heaven."

Letting Go

2009-07-12T21:32:00.012-04:00

An article I wrote about a lesson I learned a while back on letting go...

I guess I got too comfortable. I can’t think of any other reason why there’s been a shift in my relationship with a friend, but I do know one thing: It hurts. About two months have passed since we’ve had one of those good, old-fashioned, long-winded kinds of laughs together. And it seems like ages since our last true non-superficial conversation.

Somewhere down the line, one of us got hurt but we didn’t let the other one know of our feelings, and consequently, our disappointment in each other manifested in hurtful ways. I noticed that my friend began to pull back from our relationship a bit. Phone calls went unanswered. Text messages went unreturned. Our conversations slowly rippled from being fully engaged in each others lives to seemingly strangers passing like ships in the night. And what hurt me the most is when this friend looked me in the eyes and said, “Don’t take this personal, but I just don’t trust you.” I thought, "What?!"

I toiled for a while over the disruption of our friendship, in fact, I found myself in a place of deep sadness. However, in the midst of it all, I did what I always do; I threw myself on “the judgment seat.” I took a hard look at my actions, my words, my body language, and I judged myself. I took some time to sift through my role in the situation versus what I thought the responsibilities were of my friend. And you know what came out of my time in thought? These two words echoed loudly within me: Let go.

We've got to be willing to let people go. I learned that the hard way. You might have heard or read this before, but not everybody belongs in the front row of our lives. Our friendships are for a reason, a season or a lifetime. If your friends choose to walk out of your life, let them go; your destiny was never tied to anyone who left.

However, there is a lesson to be learned in letting go. Picture yourself holding a beautiful flower and then picture yourself smothering that flower. In relationships, we have the responsibility to allow people to grow. We can't smother others with our expectations, personal issues, etc. Nobody can know everything about you accept Christ, so don't expect the people you care about to know you the way you think they should; it's impossible. Allow your loved ones to make mistakes because mistakes will happen. Most importantly, letting go creates a path towards communication. Make it easy for others to approach you about you. Don’t throw away a good person just because they did a bad thing. The sign of a true friend is an honest answer.

The Bible says that many are the plans of a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that will prevail. To me, in this context, that means letting go of something or someone would be your way of telling God that you are no longer in control. And guess what? If that relationship is within God's purpose for your life, it will only strengthen and grow, regardless of misunderstandings, time apart and arguments. God's purpose will prevail and not your own. I think Oswald Chambers captured it best about relationships:

The purposes of God in your life are tied to certain relationships. To succeed, you must learn to recognize them. Remember Jonathan, who loved David even at the cost of his own life? Or Ruth, who loved her widowed mother-in-law, Naomi, and gave her a reason to live again? God has people like that, and you need them. But, some areas may need to be healed before you can enter these relationships. For example, you must learn to differentiate between 'using' relationships and 'heart-ties.' Even blood-ties don't wear as well as heart-ties. Allow God to work on you. When you're ready He'll make all the necessary introductions. In the meantime, get to know Him better. Make His opinion the source of your self worth because it's the only one that really counts. If your last relationship stripped you of your identity and drained you spiritually, use this precious time to get back on your feet. Begin today to love like God loves. He sees your imperfection, handles your rejection and loves you regardless.

Oh, Sluggard

2009-07-11T23:37:00.005-04:00

The sluggard craves and gets nothing, but the desires of the diligent are fully satisfied. ~Proverbs 13:4

I read this scripture this morning, and it caught my attention in a huge way. The word "craves" was arresting and it truly hit home in my thought process. The scripture says that the sluggard craves and gets nothing, meaning - all the sluggard does is talk about it and crave it, but never moves forward. A sluggard is a procrastinator, over-analyzer and is short-sighted. He constantly talks of tomorrow but never plans and is always unprepared. The sluggard lacks self-discipline. Wow.

This scripture just reminded me of the countless conversations I've had with people about what they'd like to accomplish in this life. Its easy to talk about the things we want to do, the goals we have, passions and desires; it sounds good to talk about it, but if we're not diligent, those desires will be fruitless and unfulfilling. There are certain things that I use to talk about accomplishing all the time, but the busyness of life have kept me from 'getting' started. When I did find the time to work on specific things, I often opted to use that time to rest, get in a little extra sleep, etc. I opted out of being diligent for something else... I learned the hard way.

Today, I thank God that my lifestyle is not that of a sluggard, but is that of the diligent - one who is faithful in the little things even if it takes time. The scripture says that the desires of the diligent are fully satisfied, and I look forward to being 'full' on a daily basis. Praise'm!

"Hey, That's You..."

2009-06-28T16:50:00.008-04:00

Who do you want to see in your reflection?

A friend of mine just returned from a missions trip to Ghana. Over lunch today, she shared with me all that her trip entailed including something that tugged at my heart. During one of her days in Ghana, she and her team went to an orphanage to love on the kids there through games, special attention, prayer, song, etc. One of the activities they did with the kids in the orphanage was two-fold: 1. Take individual pictures of the kids and print them out, 2. Take those pictures and create fake passport posters for the kids. After team Ghana took pictures of the kids, they printed the photos and placed the pictures in a pile so the kids could pick their pictures and get started with the activity. Well, to their surprise, the kids did not move. In fact, the kids looked puzzled and began asking where their pictures were. Team Ghana and my friend quickly learned that the kids had NO IDEA what they looked like - what their face looked like. They had never seen their image in a mirror, piece of glass, reflection... nothing! After awhile, they began to figure it out because the kids would recognize the other kids and say, "That's you." Or, they'd recognize the shirt they were wearing... but they had no idea what their face looked like until someone told them by saying, "Hey, that's you."

Wow.

We have no idea how much God loves us. Sometimes we have issues seeing ourselves as God sees us. If God were to show us a picture of how He sees us, would you recognize yourself? If so, would you believe what you see? Our Father even declares who we truly are in the midst of our struggles and fears. Even in our insecurity, God is saying, "Hey, that's you. See, this is who you truly are. This is who I've created you to be. See?" Lately, I've spent a lot of time in prayer, crying (literally) about feeling inadequate in certain areas of my life. And, although I can hear the soft whisper of our Father speaking to my heart, often times what I see doesn't match up with what I hear. So, I've had to realign my thoughts with His thoughts and my eyes with His eyes by abiding in what His word says about me. That way, there will never be a time when I look at myself and not recognize who I am - or not recognize who I was created to be.

I want to see Christ in my reflection.

Secret Petition

2009-06-01T21:14:00.006-04:00

I'd love to be with you a little longer
I want to sit long enough to burn
Jesus - be the peace I seek
break the piece of me that is anxious
burn me up like carbon paper, then
take those vapors and reconstruct me
Just, stay with me
wrap me with your love and teach me, to live.

~Terri
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Ever feel like the Lord is nowhere to be found? Ever feel as if your prayers are unheard sometimes; your tears unseen? Ever feel so desperate, so thirsty to hear from the Father, just a drink from Him would quench the dry places within you?

Don't stop pursing Him. God is faithful to His word. Psalm 37:3 says, "Trust (lean on, and be confident) in the Lord and do good; so shall you dwell in the land and feed surely on His faithfulness, and truly you shall be fed."

When you're in your room, alone, be still and rest. Commit your way and heart to the Lord, daily. Let those secret petitions of your heart bring glory to God - even when you don't 'feel' like it. His peace will cover you like a soft blanket.

May His presence wash over you like a waterfall. May your soul be refreshed and purified as you seek Him. May your heart dwell in the palm of His hand - always.

Nothing else matters.

In case you were wondering...

2009-05-30T13:12:00.002-04:00

A man's gift makes room for him, And brings him before great men."
Proverbs 18:6

Ode To You.

2009-05-24T20:44:00.020-04:00

What a great weekend. You know, God has given me a plethora of brilliant, amazing, heart-warming friends. I find myself in awe sometimes when I stop to think about the individuals who've left an imprint on my heart. Here's one:
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We could not stop talking. As soon as her flight landed, she and I talked until after midnight the next day. I love moments like that; moments when you're so comfortable with a friend, that time passes you by, unaware... In this particular case, it means a lot to me because I met this friend less than a year ago, and I feel like I've known her my whole life. Amazing. It behooves me to believe that this is less than God, when you can meet someone and instantly feel commonality. And, more often than not, the breath of God that my friend carries is arresting and attractive. The way she wears Christ makes me question my position in my relationship with Jesus - what I know and why I know it. Her example challenges me to work out my own salvation with greater pursuit and anticipation of the Holy. Iron sharpening iron. Can you tell I'm inspired?

My prayer is that I can leave an emphatic seed of benevolence, inspiration and encouragement in her life. Even, to have the opportunity to deposit the God-given wisdom I carry within me. I've learned that God doesn't do anything by mistake. The people in your life are for a reason, a season or a lifetime, and it's important to recognize the time. This friend, however, is definitely for a lifetime.

To that friend, I say, thank you :)

Favorite Kid Quote of The Day

2009-05-19T11:10:00.003-04:00

My friend's daughter said this to him:

"Since God is my Dad, why do I have to ask you for stuff?"

Favorite Kid Quote of The Day

2009-05-18T16:34:00.005-04:00

-a friend's son said this to me.

"I paid attention in school today and I listened to the teacher because I want Jesus to be pleased with my actions..."

Whom Love Pursued

2009-05-15T15:45:00.012-04:00

I was cleaning around the house this afternoon and came across an old spoken word piece I shared at a women's retreat on the beach about a year ago. At this retreat, I was asked to speak and share my testimony, and this is what I shared before I spoke to the women about the God in me. I totally forgot about this and am glad I found it. Enjoy...
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"Whom Love Pursued"

she, sits in distress, concerned and under arrest
she, sits in her pretty pink dress
afraid to tell her mom because she'd make a mess
of things
she's six and he, he cornered her
she's not even old enough to write legible
his, decibels rang in her ears - "touch it!"
she sits in distress, concerned and under arrest
her heart beats out of her chest
she's too young to be shaken from the nest
but satan's jest was to destroy her

her shackles grew stronger with age, she's enraged at the world
every night, curled, into the fetal position
her life transitions inexplicably
see, she be that girl with the absentee father and abused mother
satan's plan - to scorn her identity
"you're nothing!" he says. "you're worthless!" he clouts.
"people will think your crazy!" he laughs. "there's no God." he shouts

she loses herself sometimes - with pen and paper and words
because her journal was the only thing that understood
her adjectives, her nouns, her verbs

she posts a do-not-disturb sign on her heart
but, love knocks anyway
it pursued her without fail
it even showed her the blood on the nail it endured
this pursuit made her blush
her, deep cocoa skin turning pale
she received a letter from this love in the mail
addressed to: intimacy

what is this love? she thought
don't you know she's on the run?
do you really want one raped and abused?
confused and holding a loaded gun?

this loves pursuit grew stronger and stronger
she, could not resist it any longer
and when her spirit was limp from wailing and crying
she gave in to this love and committed to dying
every day, even... and now
her testimony is a testament
of this love she found years ago

no more bondage and no more chains
no more denying that Jesus Christ reigns
no more sexual abuse, no more addiction
no more mental handicap, no more affliction
no more negative words, no more trilogy
of generation after generation after generation
of not being what God called to be
more faith, more anointing, more fire
more passion, more pursuit of His desire
more prayer, more intercession, a deeper level of more
more Holy Spirit power from head to the floor
taking territory for His glory in war

that girl who was abused and raped
is walking in power, free.
that girl whom love pursued
was me.

by

Burn

2009-05-14T13:47:00.007-04:00

My deep thought for the day...

Ever see something burn? If it burns long enough, the things around it will also catch fire. And, when more than one thing burns, the fire becomes more intense and spreads faster. When fire spreads, it's harder to prohibit, interrupt...breakup. We should represent Christ in the manner of wild fire. We should burn for Him, His desires, His heart and ignite others. Be encouraged to get up every morning and put on Christ just like you take the time to put on your best outfit. †

In remembering to represent Christ with all I am, I read this quote earlier today...

"Catch on fire with enthusiasm for Christ and people will come from miles to watch you burn." ~John Wesley

Nothing Trumps the Light

2009-04-29T20:11:00.009-04:00

Often times we hold ourselves back from expressing the depths of who we are because we're afraid of what people may think. We hide tragic events from our past and try to live on as if it never happened. We teach ourselves secrecy because we think we'll be put to shame. Or, we tend to speculate that others may think differently about us, look down at us and even change their view about who they think we are and ought to be. The shame behind it all is that we tend to think that we are the only one in the world dealing with our dilemma and that no one else would be open to understand. Did you know that it takes more energy to conceal a matter than it does to let it go? It may be a secret to you, but somebody somewhere is experiencing the same thing you are, and they wish for freedom. Secrets are painful because we tend to nurse them by ourselves and internally. They become raw, extreme and sensitive wounds we won't allow to heal because we're afraid to voice them or even shine light on them. Fact is, Secrets need darkness in order to grow, and we've got to work hard to shed light on the things that need to fester in the dark. I John says that God is light and in Him there is no darkness at all. Light deteriorates the make-up of a secret because it penetrates and exposes everything it touches. Light allows you and others to see hidden things (secrets) more clearly and without question. Learn to show people your wounds. Don't think for a minute that what you're going through is specifically your personal burden to carry; it's not. Showing and shedding light on your pain and allowing God to heal you is like handing someone else the master keys to unlock the same door you just traveled through. Not only that, but you allow your burden to be lifted as well. Jesus dwells in light. One thing I am certain of; when you share the details, wounds, secrets of your life, when you expose what used to be in the dark, you begin to heal not only yourself but those around you. Don't lick your wounds; expose them.

god of the coffee bean

2009-04-27T12:17:00.007-04:00

Saturday, I was 1 of 3 featured performers for an Arts Cafe' Jazz series night in Virginia Beach. The night was amazing! Below is one of the spoken word pieces I wrote and performed called, "Starbux." I had a lot of fun with this one, and I just wanted to share... Enjoy!

"Starbux"

6am, and I am in search of you
mouth dry, heart pounding - sounding like a drumline
I make a b-line like a tornado towards the kitchen
I pull out the canister, hyped about smelling your roasted flavor
ready to savor what I'm addicted to e-v-e-r-y morning
But, wait! Somethings not right!
The coffee canister is empty - but I thought I filled it last night!
I'm a 6am-early morning-coffee-drama-queen
The worst I've seen, and now this drama is about to lose its star actress
and so, I leave the kitchen and put on my best dress
I hop in my car ready to express - my love to Starbux
And to my surprise, the Starbux 'open' sign beamed brighter than the McArches across the street
Oh! I could not wait to jump out of my car
The, pitter-patter of little feet
Ready to meet, my first cup of the day
I, rush inside all starry-eyed, staring at the menu
"Oh, what to do! Oh what to do!" I exclaimed
Giving Starbux way too much fame
Jumping up and down, worshiping the name of "the god of the coffee bean"
Doesn't matter if its Seattle Coffee, Starbux or Gloria Jean
I was making one, big, hug, unbelievably embarrassing scene - right there in Starbux
Good morning...
Rewind
6 am, and I am desperate, hungry and in search of You
Mouth dry, heart pounding, sounding like a drumline
I, make a b-line like a tornado towards Your word
I pull out my Bible - hyped about giving You glory
Couldn't wait to wake up this morning to read and study your story
I'm addicted to You
I, need Your spirit in my blood stream
No, early morning haettas - no Starbux or Gloria Jean
No fits and rants about coffee - no feining for the caffeine
You mean more to me than an early morning drip from "the god of the coffee bean"
Because, if I can wake up early to get my coffee
surely, I can wake up early to worship You
I can put on my best dress for you
I can exclaim your name and get hyped about your fame
I can jump up and down and worship the giver and not the gift
and surely, I mean surely... even if I wake up late
I'm almost positive that "the god of the coffee bean" and even Starbux, can wait.
Good morning.

I Will Follow You

2009-04-26T21:36:00.025-04:00

John 10:27: "My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me."

I was at lunch with a few friends this afternoon, and while they chatted about the present subject, I drifted off (which I often do) with my own thoughts and wondering eyes. As I sat against the wall, I noticed a father come into the restaurant with his son. The son could not have been more than 2 or 3 years-old, and he was clinging to his father's calf for dear life. It was funny. That little boy was so cute because he wore the coolest pair of neon green little-kid-shades I have ever seen, and his hair was light blond, spiked and looked like a Mohawk. So cute.

Anyway, as the father and son moved through the restaurant, the father began to pick up pace, and with each stride, his son lagged further and further behind. The father never looked back because I'm assuming he knew that his son followed close behind, and the son never lost sight of his father no matter how far ahead he was. What touched me in this moment was while the father was getting ready to take his seat, the son put his head down for a split second, looked up again and realized that he lost sight of his father. After realizing he was lost, the son stopped, started looking around and then began crying. Before the father took his seat, he quickly turned around at the sound of his son's voice, ran to where he was and picked him up - carrying him the rest of the way to the table. When the father picked his son up, he immediately stopped crying, and everything seemed to be back to normal. Why? The son saw his father again, and he was safe in his father's arms.

I don't ever want to lose sight of my heavenly father. I don't ever want to look away for a moment, get lost and then try to figure out how to get back on the right path. It's too costly. But, God loves us so much that even if we get lost, He'll come running to our rescue the minute we cry out to Him. He'll even carry us until we're able to walk ourselves.

Favorite Kid Quote of The Day

2009-04-20T22:37:00.006-04:00

"Hi auntie Terri! You're so precious. So, what did you do for God today?"

My 4-year-old niece, Dajeah

Go. I Dare You.

2009-04-16T23:09:00.007-04:00

i had a meeting with myself and a counseling session with God. by the time i finished, this is what i got.

right now, your heart's racing, pulsating through your chest. you can feel your adrenaline kick in every time you think about it. run. it brings you to tears. cry. until you can't anymore. then, when you're ready: jump. give your life away. get out of the driver's seat. love. forgive. live inside out. share the testimony. put your confidence in Him. move. say it. be it. do it. write it. sing it. create it. build it. buy it. drive there. be there. publish it. change addresses. go to that country. ask it. pray it. journal it. walk it out. run that marathon. lose the weight. meet the challenge. lead. venture out. speak. plan it.

go. i dare you.

Just Release

2009-04-15T00:00:00.003-04:00

It takes a lot for me to cry. I don't know where I got it from, but I'm the type of person who will hold back tears until they absolutely have to fall. It doesn't mean that I'm emotionless, it just means that I need to learn to release. "Just release, Terri," is what I told myself today. . . For about three days now, I've been walking around with heavy eyelids; like I carried the weight of the world on my eyelids - ready to spill at any moment. So, I've been running to spend more and more time with Jesus these past few days, and each time I meet Him, I never want to leave.

Today, I released. I was driving home from work and listening to a worship song by Rick Pino called "Gorgeous Face," and I could feel the weight of not releasing. And, as soon as I walked inside my house, wham! In His presence is where it all came out. Ever felt the sensation of cold water passing through your body when you're really, really thirsty? That's how I felt when I released my tears in the presence of my Father. Only this time, I released more than tears. Right there on the floor was every concern I cared about, every fear, every care, every desire, every insecurity, every moment of my day, every thought, every word, every question, every doubt, every anxious moment. Everything lay right there, released. Everything.

I was reminded of Romans 8:26, "In the same way the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words." ...too deep for words. That's exactly how I felt while lying on the floor crying, releasing. I had no words, but I was confident that the Holy Spirit burned me with pure love and interceded on my behalf. He dug deep and communicated something in prayer beyond what I could understand. And you know what? We need that. Sometimes God wants to get us to a place where we're not carrying a bunch of stuff. He wants us to get in His presence, stay there and release. Cry. Even if you have to go into the "ugly cry," get it out. Leave it there, and trust Him enough to allow Him to take it. Let it go. Stop carrying stuff. We weren't created to carry the weight of the world on our shoulders, much less our eyelids!

Matthew 11:28-30, "Come to Me all who labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and Learn from Me for I am GENTLE and LOWLY in heart and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and my burden is light."

Awake

2009-04-14T14:55:00.007-04:00

...something i wrote and performed for the young adult ministry at my church.

"Awake"

Awaken us oh God and enlarge our tents
Holy is your name above the firmament
Awaken us oh God and pour out your fire
Burn within us your purpose and desire
Awaken us oh Lord and loose life’s chains
Burn the core of me so only YOU remain
You rule the swelling of the sea when it waves over me
Keeping my spirit, soul and mind where it needs to be
All wrapped up in your identity
Awaken your truth, and shake us with your testaments
We’re walking out of darkness and conquering all pestilence
And, awaken those of us who may be sleeping…
And reaping the consequences…
Keep teaching us your purpose
Keep feeding us your bread
Dramatically and radically change our lives
Do exactly what you’ve said
Awaken my soul – strengthen your spirit within me
Awaken your song – wherever your praise is needed, Lord send me
And, awake us to repentance…
Your mercy saving us from death’s sentence
You are Awesome, You are Mighty, You are Praise
You are Worship, You are Love, You are Hal-le-lujah
You aren’t anything less – but righteousness
Awaken us to a life of passion

by me,

Praise HIM!

2009-04-12T20:32:00.003-04:00

photo by terrilashae photography
(that's me!)

Reflection

2009-04-10T20:56:00.008-04:00

I've been listening to the same song for about two hours now; a worship song called "Take Me"by my new favorite band Worth Dying For. This song is so good... caused me to reflect on how much I LOVE JESUS. The thought makes my heart burn and want to jump out of my chest - to the point of tears. Yeah, that much.

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it wants to mirror you, reflect the light cast from your being
it wants to follow you, be the object your eyes are seeing
its broken and totally in love with you
it once was old and now its new
its emptied of itself because it chooses to be
its awakened, longing and yearning for your eternity
it doesn't want anything left but the certainty
that everything it does is for your glory, praise brought to your name
its a new heart and its never the same

Dreams

2009-04-05T10:05:00.032-04:00

2 Timothy 4:2 "Preach the Word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage - with great patience and careful instruction."

I had a dream this morning that I was at a house party with a few friends; a Christian, someone just trying to be a light in a dark place. I spent most of the night walking through the crowd, praying under my breath and trying to make small talk about Jesus Christ with only the people I knew (in the dream, I rarely walked up to the people I didn't know - just the people I knew). After a few hours or so, I decided to leave, so I grabbed my coat and walked out of the front door. "Oops," I thought. "I forgot something." So, I turned around and walked back inside to where the party was. About 3 minutes later, a man came in with a gun. He pulled it out on me, pointed to my head, and I immediately became paralyzed. I put my hands up and BANG! I got shot. In the next phase of the dream, I'm laying on the ground with this burning sensation all over my body. My eyes were closed, and I could hear the commotion of those trying to scramble for safety as this man began shooting random people. I lay there on the ground and the only thing I kept saying was, "Jesus, save me. If You save my life, if You get me out of this alive, healthy and whole, I promise that I will be so sold out and on fire for You." Because for a split second, I questioned whether or not I was going to heaven, so I kept repeating that statement over and over and over again. And, right before I woke up from the dream, I heard His voice say, "Don't wait until a tragic situation happens before you decide to give your whole life to me. Don't be a closet Christian. Don't be afraid to pursue the lost. Don't wait. Do it now."

I woke up with tears in my eyes because I believe God used this dream to speak to this generation. The enemy comes to kill, steal and to destroy. I believe God used this dream to CHALLENGE and to make a point about complacency. Sometimes we can get so complacent in our walk with Christ that we overlook certain things. We don't rebuke with patience and careful instruction, and we don't ENCOURAGE. We don't make it a habit to stay in God's word in order to be strengthened and filled up. In our walks with Christ, it's time to get/be AGGRESSIVE about kingdom things and about HIS VISION; about going after the lost; going where they are and not being afraid to make Christ known.

I had another dream the other day that a girl was being attacked by a man possessed with an evil spirit. The man was coming straight at the girl with full force until I jumped in front of her. In the dream, I jumped in front of the girl, grabbed a Bible and started hitting the man as hard as I could with the Bible. With every blow I made with the Bible in my hand, I noticed that wounds were being inflicted on the possessed man. However, after a period of time, the wounds began to close, almost as if the man was self-healing, and then he lunged at the girl, again. I remember saying to myself, "God, why aren't my actions stopping this man from attacking us?" After I asked that question, I took that same Bible I used to hit the possessed man, and I began tearing pages out of it and then eating the pages. As the man lunged toward us, I ate page after page. With every page I ate, immediately large wounds were being inflicted on the man - wounds he could not recover from. With every page I ate, our attacker was pushed back by an unseen force and completely defeated. But, none of that happened until I consumed the Bible, literally.

WHAT ARE YOU EATING? Ever heard that statement: You are what you eat? It's true. What you consume day in and day out will slowly become apart of your character and even morals. When you find yourself in a tough situation, what you've consumed is what will come out of you in your response to that situation. What you taste regularly, WHAT YOU EAT CONTINUALLY - is who you are.

HIS Touch

2009-04-04T19:10:00.003-04:00

"He Touched Me"

he wants all of me
my bags, my fears, lies, sins, disguise
he wants it all

and after i touched Him
after i crawled and bawled
and screamed and scraped
i got to enter into His gates
because i touched Him

me, the woman with the issues
more issues than a subscription
with struggles that have become an addiction
me, the woman with the issues
the woman who's been abused
the one confused, battered and broken
the one judged by the out-spoken
i was transformed and changed
because i touched Him

i was an outcast because
i had done things
and i was bleeding
needing someone to stop my hemorrhage
someone to see my true image
spirit, soul and body
i've embodied my many issues
and i, touched Him

He saw me all along
He knew i was coming
to draw virtue from His garment
He knew i'd arrive on my knees
in thee most humbled of positions
and, as i transitioned from my knees to His lap
He began to tell me
who I am
He said

daughter of the Most High
I knew you before the ages
rise up and take your place
you don't belong in these cages
you were created in My image
anything less is outrageous
you are beautiful
you are esteemed
I have not forgotten you
you are redeemed
and you walk with My breath in your lungs

then He, touched me
He touched my identity crisis
He took death's license
and revoked every attack on my life
death is over
rejection, over
fear is over
shame is over
guilt, over
low-self esteem is over
abuse, over

Lord, because You have touched me
I am made new
my mind, my body, my spirit
all wrapped up and around and inside and through You

because You touched me.

(c)2009

Who Can You "Out Honor?"

2009-04-03T10:12:00.008-04:00

Romans 12:10 says, "Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor...."

I was talking with a friend the other day about just "doin' life" with your friends. The things she said to me were eye-opening because she spoke about "out honoring" others, or "out serving" them. I remember asking her, "What does that mean to you?" And, she told me that she wanted to be the first to fill a need - "see a need and fill," she says. To do random acts of kindness or give support when needed or fulfill someone's love language if it's in your power to do so. . . Truly, it's a concept of working to be self-less instead of selfish. Living life for others, giving freely of yourself.

My friend started giving me fun and funny examples of how she and a close friend compete with each other to see who can "out honor" or "out serve" the other. This spoke volumes to me because she's placed herself in a position to always be mindful of being a servant. She shows her friends and loved ones how much they mean to her by honoring them, continually. "Wow," I thought. What my friend spoke about tugged on my heartstrings a bit and I began to wonder of who I could run to to help fulfill a need? Do I truly go through my day looking for ways and reasons to serve others? Who can I "out honor" today?

In the business of just 'doin life' with the people around you, be sure to look for ways to serve them, meet a need and to honor them, daily.

Move!

2009-03-16T09:46:00.005-04:00

Ever felt "chosen" to do something, but you've been too worried or afraid to move or step out? Something that goes with being "chosen" is a scripture you may have heard but never really believed for your own life. In Jeremiah 1:5 it says, "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations." The same God whose mind and power fashioned the stars, the seas, the animals, and all the other human beings has carefully, individually, and intentionally crafted YOU. You are not just a collection of molecules thrown together by random chance. God has CALLED you into being. Jeremiah goes on to question himself because he is too young, but God says that he doesn't need to be afraid. He has put words in his mouth. How many times has someone told you that you are too young to do something great for God? How many times have you questioned your abilities? How many times have you allowed fear to dictate your present and future? Today is the day to say NO to the enemy. You are powerful and your words are not your own but God's through you. It's time to dream again!! Rise up women and men of God in power and authority!

~Worth Dying For

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Keep me simple, You be great.Keep me humble, You be praised.Keep me hungry, childlike.Keep me thirsty open wide.I'll never touch your glory Lord, I'll never take what is Yours.I'll never touch your glory Lord, I'll never take what is Yours...

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Yesterday, my friend Grace spent some time helping her daughter with homework. While they were writing, the daughter says: "Mommy, how do you spell dot-com?"

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Favorite Kid Quote of The Day

Keep me simple, You be great.
Keep me humble, You be praised.
Keep me hungry, childlike.
Keep me thirsty open wide.
I'll never touch your glory Lord, I'll never take what is Yours.
I'll never touch your glory Lord, I'll never take what is Yours...