Rest With Me A While

Briefly: A few weeks ago, I ruptured my Achilles tendon while playing softball. I had surgery four days later and since then, I've pretty much been immobile and relying on my crutches and the help of friends and family for my needs. I'll have to wear a cast until the end of August, then I'll be fitted for a "boot." After the "boot," physical therapy. Needless to say, my life has taken a drastic turn due to this injury; believe it or not. I'll write more about the revelation I've been receiving day-to-day, along with the many lessons, struggles, tears and joys I've experienced, later on...

Today, I wanted to introduce a book/devotional I've been reading, daily, called "Jesus Calling," by Sarah Young. It's a book of short prophetic devotionals - nothing too deep, but the words definitely tug at your heart and seems to help quiet my spirit before the Lord. Here's what I read this morning:

"Rest with Me a while. You have journeyed up a steep, rugged path in recent days. The way ahead is shrouded in uncertainty. Look neither behind you nor before you. Instead, focus your attention on Me, your constant Companion. Trust that I will equip you fully for whatever awaits you on your journey. I designed time to be a protection for you. You couldn't bear to see all your life at once. Though I am unlimited by time, it is in the present moment that I meet you. Refresh yourself in My company, breathing deep droughts of My Presence. The highest level of trust is to enjoy Me moment by moment. I am with you, watching over you where you go."

Psalm 143:8, Genesis 28:15


More from me, later.

Thinking of Prayer as Jesus Taught

One of my FAVORITE devotionals by Oswald Chambers

Pray without ceasing . . . —1 Thessalonians 5:17

Our thinking about prayer, whether right or wrong, is based on our own mental conception of it. The correct concept is to think of prayer as the breath in our lungs and the blood from our hearts. Our blood flows and our breathing continues “without ceasing”; we are not even conscious of it, but it never stops. And we are not always conscious of Jesus keeping us in perfect oneness with God, but if we are obeying Him, He always is. Prayer is not an exercise, it is the life of the saint. Beware of anything that stops the offering up of prayer. “Pray without ceasing . . .”— maintain the childlike habit of offering up prayer in your heart to God all the time.
Jesus never mentioned unanswered prayer. He had the unlimited certainty of knowing that prayer is always answered. Do we have through the Spirit of God that inexpressible certainty that Jesus had about prayer, or do we think of the times when it seemed that God did not answer our prayer? Jesus said, “. . . everyone who asks receives . . .” ( Matthew 7:8 ). Yet we say, “But . . . , but . . . .” God answers prayer in the best way— not just sometimes, but every time. However, the evidence of the answer in the area we want it may not always immediately follow. Do we expect God to answer prayer?
The danger we have is that we want to water down what Jesus said to make it mean something that aligns with our common sense. But if it were only common sense, what He said would not even be worthwhile. The things Jesus taught about prayer are supernatural truths He reveals to us.

Beauty for Ashes

A very good friend of mine wrote this and shared it with me, and it opened up a different perspective for me on beauty for ashes... Thanks, Kelli :)



by Kelli W.

Today I was thinking about the Scripture where God promises to give His people “beauty for ashes” (Isaiah 61:3), which Jesus referenced when he stood up in the synagogue and read this very same passage, proclaiming his fulfillment of these verses (Luke 4:17-18). I have heard this verse many times and it has always seemed sweet but maybe somewhat distant from my heart personally and like it applied to others, but today it struck me in a new way. It was as if suddenly I was very aware of what ashes are. Profound, I know ;-). I mean I guess I never thought about it in context to this verse. What are ashes? NOTHING. They are the charred remnants of something that was, but really, what can you do with ashes? NOTHING. Ashes are worthless leftovers that only get stuff dirty by their presence. You can’t build anything with ashes… you can’t really do anything with ashes except put them on your head and go about mourning… And what does God give us for the ashes of our lives? BEAUTY. Oh, something of such substance. He gives us real, true, eternal beauty. He adorns our souls with something that is lasting. He gives us love…. Perfect Love… not just a love that toys with our hearts or makes empty promises. Not a love that manipulates or connives or takes advantage… He gives us PERFECT, FAITHFUL, ETERNAL, COVENANTAL LOVE. Wow. God takes the nothing of my life: my failures, my shortcomings, my vain attempts at reaching righteousness in my own effort, my broken heart, my tears, my lost hope… all of these ashes…and in His Divine Providence, in a way that only He can do, He gives me BEAUTY. He crowns me with His love. This is quite the exchange.

It strikes me that in this exchange, what He gives us has real substance. It is not just a nice idea, a nice thought or an encouraging word in the way people have sympathy and try to make you feel better when you had a really bad day or the girl or guy does not return your admiration or you didn’t get the job or make cheerleading tryouts or the first string of the basketball team or whatever it is. When God names you, when God defines you, He holds the Trump card. He has the absolute and final say about who you really are. And He says who you are is beautiful. He says you are perfect. He says you are worthy of His love because of His blood.

And there’s more! This beauty is not solely substantial, it is eternal. What He is doing in us will last forever. How true the verses Paul writes, “For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory; While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal.” (2 Cor. 4:17, I just liked the KJ version in that one☺, emphasis mine).
The things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal.
The things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal.
The things which are not seen are ETERNAL. Did you hear that? He is giving you BEAUTY for your ASHES. All those shattered dreams, that rejection, that abandonment, that self hatred, those failures…. Ashes all of it… but ashes just blow away. And the Refiner of our hearts is creating a new thing. Like gold is refined through the fire, so our hearts are refined in this furnace of trials and tribulations (1 Pet. 4:12-14) if we but say YES to His Love in the middle of it. In the midst of the questions, as we journey on without knowing the way… as we come up leaning on His faithfulness rather than our own fleshly might our hearts are being refined and something beautiful is being formed… something of eternal value. We are being made into a Bride fit for a King. We are being given beauty for our ashes.

:: O God, I will receive this wonderful exchange. I will take Your Beauty for my ashes…. How can you be this good? ::

He Is Faithful

I was planning to blog today, have all sorts of things to share, but as I listened to this song over and over and over and over again during my quiet time, I thought I'd share this instead of a few words...

Beyond all else, He is faithful!

Desert Song & Testimony

A friend passed along this video to me, and I cried. My tears were a reflection of a deep brokenness I had been feeling for quite some time, yet through it all, I've kept this song in my heart. As of late, I've felt like I've been able to feel the wind of His presence again, and it feels so great and assuring. "All of my life, in EVERY season, YOU are still GOD, and I have a reason to sing..." Check out this testimony and song (Desert Song by Hillsongs). I've loved this song for a long time, and I had no idea of the testimony behind it.

A Note on Solitude

"Retire from the world each day to some private spot, even if it be only the bedroom (for a while I retreated to the furnace room for want of a better place). Stay in the secret place till the surrounding noises begin to fade out of your heart and a sense of God’s presence envelops you… Listen for the inward Voice till you learn to recognize it. Stop trying to compete with others. Give yourself to God and then be what and who you are without regard to what others think… Learn to pray inwardly every moment. After a while you can do this even while you work… Read less, but more of what is important to your inner life. Never let your mind remain scattered for very long. Call home your roving thoughts. Gaze on Christ with the eyes of your soul. Practice spiritual concentration. All the above is contingent upon a right relation to God through Christ and daily meditation on the Scriptures."

~A.W. Tozer

Letting Go

An article I wrote about a lesson I learned a while back on letting go...

I guess I got too comfortable. I can’t think of any other reason why there’s been a shift in my relationship with a friend, but I do know one thing: It hurts. About two months have passed since we’ve had one of those good, old-fashioned, long-winded kinds of laughs together. And it seems like ages since our last true non-superficial conversation.

Somewhere down the line, one of us got hurt but we didn’t let the other one know of our feelings, and consequently, our disappointment in each other manifested in hurtful ways. I noticed that my friend began to pull back from our relationship a bit. Phone calls went unanswered. Text messages went unreturned. Our conversations slowly rippled from being fully engaged in each others lives to seemingly strangers passing like ships in the night. And what hurt me the most is when this friend looked me in the eyes and said, “Don’t take this personal, but I just don’t trust you.” I thought, "What?!"

I toiled for a while over the disruption of our friendship, in fact, I found myself in a place of deep sadness. However, in the midst of it all, I did what I always do; I threw myself on “the judgment seat.” I took a hard look at my actions, my words, my body language, and I judged myself. I took some time to sift through my role in the situation versus what I thought the responsibilities were of my friend. And you know what came out of my time in thought? These two words echoed loudly within me: Let go.

We've got to be willing to let people go. I learned that the hard way. You might have heard or read this before, but not everybody belongs in the front row of our lives. Our friendships are for a reason, a season or a lifetime. If your friends choose to walk out of your life, let them go; your destiny was never tied to anyone who left.

However, there is a lesson to be learned in letting go. Picture yourself holding a beautiful flower and then picture yourself smothering that flower. In relationships, we have the responsibility to allow people to grow. We can't smother others with our expectations, personal issues, etc. Nobody can know everything about you accept Christ, so don't expect the people you care about to know you the way you think they should; it's impossible. Allow your loved ones to make mistakes because mistakes will happen. Most importantly, letting go creates a path towards communication. Make it easy for others to approach you about you. Don’t throw away a good person just because they did a bad thing. The sign of a true friend is an honest answer.

The Bible says that many are the plans of a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that will prevail. To me, in this context, that means letting go of something or someone would be your way of telling God that you are no longer in control. And guess what? If that relationship is within God's purpose for your life, it will only strengthen and grow, regardless of misunderstandings, time apart and arguments. God's purpose will prevail and not your own. I think Oswald Chambers captured it best about relationships:

The purposes of God in your life are tied to certain relationships. To succeed, you must learn to recognize them. Remember Jonathan, who loved David even at the cost of his own life? Or Ruth, who loved her widowed mother-in-law, Naomi, and gave her a reason to live again? God has people like that, and you need them. But, some areas may need to be healed before you can enter these relationships. For example, you must learn to differentiate between 'using' relationships and 'heart-ties.' Even blood-ties don't wear as well as heart-ties. Allow God to work on you. When you're ready He'll make all the necessary introductions. In the meantime, get to know Him better. Make His opinion the source of your self worth because it's the only one that really counts. If your last relationship stripped you of your identity and drained you spiritually, use this precious time to get back on your feet. Begin today to love like God loves. He sees your imperfection, handles your rejection and loves you regardless.

Oh, Sluggard

The sluggard craves and gets nothing, but the desires of the diligent are fully satisfied. ~Proverbs 13:4

I read this scripture this morning, and it caught my attention in a huge way. The word "craves" was arresting and it truly hit home in my thought process. The scripture says that the sluggard craves and gets nothing, meaning - all the sluggard does is talk about it and crave it, but never moves forward. A sluggard is a procrastinator, over-analyzer and is short-sighted. He constantly talks of tomorrow but never plans and is always unprepared. The sluggard lacks self-discipline. Wow.

This scripture just reminded me of the countless conversations I've had with people about what they'd like to accomplish in this life. Its easy to talk about the things we want to do, the goals we have, passions and desires; it sounds good to talk about it, but if we're not diligent, those desires will be fruitless and unfulfilling. There are certain things that I use to talk about accomplishing all the time, but the busyness of life have kept me from 'getting' started. When I did find the time to work on specific things, I often opted to use that time to rest, get in a little extra sleep, etc. I opted out of being diligent for something else... I learned the hard way.

Today, I thank God that my lifestyle is not that of a sluggard, but is that of the diligent - one who is faithful in the little things even if it takes time. The scripture says that the desires of the diligent are fully satisfied, and I look forward to being 'full' on a daily basis. Praise'm!

Go. I Dare You.

i had a meeting with myself and a counseling session with God. by the time i finished, this is what i got.

right now, your heart's racing, pulsating through your chest. you can feel your adrenaline kick in every time you think about it. run. it brings you to tears. cry. until you can't anymore. then, when you're ready: jump. give your life away. get out of the driver's seat. love. forgive. live inside out. share the testimony. put your confidence in Him. move. say it. be it. do it. write it. sing it. create it. build it. buy it. drive there. be there. publish it. change addresses. go to that country. ask it. pray it. journal it. walk it out. run that marathon. lose the weight. meet the challenge. lead. venture out. speak. plan it.

go. i dare you.

Just Release

It takes a lot for me to cry. I don't know where I got it from, but I'm the type of person who will hold back tears until they absolutely have to fall. It doesn't mean that I'm emotionless, it just means that I need to learn to release. "Just release, Terri," is what I told myself today. . . For about three days now, I've been walking around with heavy eyelids; like I carried the weight of the world on my eyelids - ready to spill at any moment. So, I've been running to spend more and more time with Jesus these past few days, and each time I meet Him, I never want to leave.

Today, I released. I was driving home from work and listening to a worship song by Rick Pino called "Gorgeous Face," and I could feel the weight of not releasing. And, as soon as I walked inside my house, wham! In His presence is where it all came out. Ever felt the sensation of cold water passing through your body when you're really, really thirsty? That's how I felt when I released my tears in the presence of my Father. Only this time, I released more than tears. Right there on the floor was every concern I cared about, every fear, every care, every desire, every insecurity, every moment of my day, every thought, every word, every question, every doubt, every anxious moment. Everything lay right there, released. Everything.

I was reminded of Romans 8:26, "In the same way the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words." ...too deep for words. That's exactly how I felt while lying on the floor crying, releasing. I had no words, but I was confident that the Holy Spirit burned me with pure love and interceded on my behalf. He dug deep and communicated something in prayer beyond what I could understand. And you know what? We need that. Sometimes God wants to get us to a place where we're not carrying a bunch of stuff. He wants us to get in His presence, stay there and release. Cry. Even if you have to go into the "ugly cry," get it out. Leave it there, and trust Him enough to allow Him to take it. Let it go. Stop carrying stuff. We weren't created to carry the weight of the world on our shoulders, much less our eyelids!

Matthew 11:28-30, "Come to Me all who labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and Learn from Me for I am GENTLE and LOWLY in heart and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and my burden is light."

Free Fallin'

She's definitely a daddy's girl, and she loves for her father to tuck her in at night. Every night before her bedtime story and night time prayer, she would climb to the edge of the bed, turn backward and free-fall. Her 4 year-old self has an immense amount of confidence in her father. She trusts him to be there to catch her. That's why she loves the "free-fall game." She knows she can climb to the edge, close her eyes, put her arms straight up in the air and fall backward because she trusts that she will fall safely and securely in the arms of her father.

One day, her father was out of town, and her mother was left to tuck her in. Like routine, she ran to her room, climbed to the edge of the bed, put her arms in the air, closed her eyes, and she fell backward. Her mother wasn't prepared nor was she watching as her daughter hit the ground and started crying. In shock, her mother asks, "What happened?!" "Daddy always catches me," she cried.

The very next evening, daddy was home, and she eagerly ran to her room and completed her nightly routine of free falling. She completely forgot about the horrible fall she experienced the night before. She completely forgot about being hurt, and she was confident the outcome of her "free fall game" would end with her safe in the arms of her father. And you know what? She was right. She fell time and time again; trusting her father every step of the way. Children trust ruthlessly.

A friend reminded me the other day about "childlike faith," and I've been holding on to that principle for the last few days. I had to remind myself to free fall with God - to let go of all control and trust that He'll lead, guide and even catch me. I love this quote by Brennan Manning, "Without exposure to potential failure, there is no risk." We don't grow in faith and trust because we're afraid to risk. We don't want to fail, so we take control of our lives when in fact, we never truly had control to begin with. We've got to have radical dependence in God.

This week, let's ravish the heart of God with our unwavering trust.

"When I am most afraid, I put my trust in you; in God whose word I praise, in God I put my trust, fearing nothing; what can men do to me?" (Ps. 56:3-4)
"My trust in God never wavers" (Ps. 26:1)
"I, for my part, like an olive tree growing in the house of God, put my trust in God's love for ever and ever" (Ps. 52:8)

To Be Broken

It's tough sometimes; hearing from you. I've been told many times to practice the art of hearing from God, but I often feel as if I fail you in that area. Lord, I drove to the beach to be closer to you today. I even walked to the water's edge and dared you to speak to me. Thank you, Lord, for meeting me there. At the beach, I saw you in the waves. I felt your emotion in the wind, and I even experienced your happiness when a couple's puppy trotted up next to me seemingly happy just being free. I love you, Lord. Thank you for the lesson with the seashells. You said, “See, Terri. Even though these shells are broken, I still have a purpose for them.” I cried warm tears. That analogy broke me even more. My feelings of insecurity were quenched when I grasped our conversation. I love it when you care enough about me to hang out with me. You are the ultimate friend. When I mess up, you don't ignore me, leave me, talk about me or fear me. Instead, you love me, teach me, forgive me and chastise me. Thank you Lord for being magnificent. For being refreshing. For being, you. Because even when I'm weak, when my words fail, when I fall on the alter, you still dominate my self. You hear beyond the words I bring. People fail you and I fail people, but I feel confident in knowing you won't fail me. This is a journal entry about brokenness that I wrote at Sandbridge beach a while back...

I was so broken that day, and I remember feeling so insignificant. Since moving to the east coast, my home away from home has always been the beach. I go there when I want to feel closer to God. I go there to spill my deepest concerns and fears. I even yell sometimes. But mainly, I go there to cry. This day, I went to the beach because I remember feeling broken and alone. I needed to be filled because I felt as if I was running out of gas. I felt like I had no direction, like what I did and said didn't matter. I felt like a broken vessel waiting to be thrown away because in my mind, being broken meant being useless.

As I walked along the edge of the water, I remained silent. In my heart, I was reaching and searching for anything. I had so much emotion to convey, I couldn't put words into speech. Instead, I walked silently, but I'm sure my spirit was speaking to God even though I couldn't. After a few moments of quiet, I noticed that the sand was filled with many broken sea shells of every shape and color. I remember looking around hoping to find a whole shell instead of the partials I saw. As I looked, God said, “Have you found a whole shell yet?” “No, I haven't,” I said out loud. Suddenly, I saw a shell in the shape of an oval. You could tell that the shell had been worn by the water and the other shells around it. It was broken, discolored but still beautiful. I walked over to the shell and picked it up, and when I did, God said to me, “See, Terri. Even though these shells are broken, I still have a purpose for them.”

Here's the lesson God taught me: The shells that come out of the sea were once attached to sea creatures. Over time, those sea creatures were either eaten, died or somehow detached from their shells. Moving with the current of the ocean, the shells eventually wash up on shore. Sand is, in essence, loose particles of hard broken rock. The force of the water, erosion and weather crush seashells, which ultimately turn into sand. No matter what happens to us, God's purpose is ever-evolving. No matter what turns we make, God's purpose is ever-evolving. No matter the failures or successes, God's purpose is ever-evolving. When we are broken, battered, abused, left out and forgotten, God says that He has a significant purpose on the other side. When we are broken, God will use that to turn us into a different vessel. He'll use that brokenness and reshape us into what He desired in the first place. Being broken doesn't take away from our beauty, our talents or our goals. Truth is, being broken only means that God gets to reshape you. He gets to breathe new breath into you. As we move with the current of life, we have to remember that the direction we're traveling is being steered by God. In order to be reshaped, we've got to be broken.