Letting Go

An article I wrote about a lesson I learned a while back on letting go...

I guess I got too comfortable. I can’t think of any other reason why there’s been a shift in my relationship with a friend, but I do know one thing: It hurts. About two months have passed since we’ve had one of those good, old-fashioned, long-winded kinds of laughs together. And it seems like ages since our last true non-superficial conversation.

Somewhere down the line, one of us got hurt but we didn’t let the other one know of our feelings, and consequently, our disappointment in each other manifested in hurtful ways. I noticed that my friend began to pull back from our relationship a bit. Phone calls went unanswered. Text messages went unreturned. Our conversations slowly rippled from being fully engaged in each others lives to seemingly strangers passing like ships in the night. And what hurt me the most is when this friend looked me in the eyes and said, “Don’t take this personal, but I just don’t trust you.” I thought, "What?!"

I toiled for a while over the disruption of our friendship, in fact, I found myself in a place of deep sadness. However, in the midst of it all, I did what I always do; I threw myself on “the judgment seat.” I took a hard look at my actions, my words, my body language, and I judged myself. I took some time to sift through my role in the situation versus what I thought the responsibilities were of my friend. And you know what came out of my time in thought? These two words echoed loudly within me: Let go.

We've got to be willing to let people go. I learned that the hard way. You might have heard or read this before, but not everybody belongs in the front row of our lives. Our friendships are for a reason, a season or a lifetime. If your friends choose to walk out of your life, let them go; your destiny was never tied to anyone who left.

However, there is a lesson to be learned in letting go. Picture yourself holding a beautiful flower and then picture yourself smothering that flower. In relationships, we have the responsibility to allow people to grow. We can't smother others with our expectations, personal issues, etc. Nobody can know everything about you accept Christ, so don't expect the people you care about to know you the way you think they should; it's impossible. Allow your loved ones to make mistakes because mistakes will happen. Most importantly, letting go creates a path towards communication. Make it easy for others to approach you about you. Don’t throw away a good person just because they did a bad thing. The sign of a true friend is an honest answer.

The Bible says that many are the plans of a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that will prevail. To me, in this context, that means letting go of something or someone would be your way of telling God that you are no longer in control. And guess what? If that relationship is within God's purpose for your life, it will only strengthen and grow, regardless of misunderstandings, time apart and arguments. God's purpose will prevail and not your own. I think Oswald Chambers captured it best about relationships:

The purposes of God in your life are tied to certain relationships. To succeed, you must learn to recognize them. Remember Jonathan, who loved David even at the cost of his own life? Or Ruth, who loved her widowed mother-in-law, Naomi, and gave her a reason to live again? God has people like that, and you need them. But, some areas may need to be healed before you can enter these relationships. For example, you must learn to differentiate between 'using' relationships and 'heart-ties.' Even blood-ties don't wear as well as heart-ties. Allow God to work on you. When you're ready He'll make all the necessary introductions. In the meantime, get to know Him better. Make His opinion the source of your self worth because it's the only one that really counts. If your last relationship stripped you of your identity and drained you spiritually, use this precious time to get back on your feet. Begin today to love like God loves. He sees your imperfection, handles your rejection and loves you regardless.

Oh, Sluggard

The sluggard craves and gets nothing, but the desires of the diligent are fully satisfied. ~Proverbs 13:4

I read this scripture this morning, and it caught my attention in a huge way. The word "craves" was arresting and it truly hit home in my thought process. The scripture says that the sluggard craves and gets nothing, meaning - all the sluggard does is talk about it and crave it, but never moves forward. A sluggard is a procrastinator, over-analyzer and is short-sighted. He constantly talks of tomorrow but never plans and is always unprepared. The sluggard lacks self-discipline. Wow.

This scripture just reminded me of the countless conversations I've had with people about what they'd like to accomplish in this life. Its easy to talk about the things we want to do, the goals we have, passions and desires; it sounds good to talk about it, but if we're not diligent, those desires will be fruitless and unfulfilling. There are certain things that I use to talk about accomplishing all the time, but the busyness of life have kept me from 'getting' started. When I did find the time to work on specific things, I often opted to use that time to rest, get in a little extra sleep, etc. I opted out of being diligent for something else... I learned the hard way.

Today, I thank God that my lifestyle is not that of a sluggard, but is that of the diligent - one who is faithful in the little things even if it takes time. The scripture says that the desires of the diligent are fully satisfied, and I look forward to being 'full' on a daily basis. Praise'm!

"Hey, That's You..."

Who do you want to see in your reflection?

A friend of mine just returned from a missions trip to Ghana. Over lunch today, she shared with me all that her trip entailed including something that tugged at my heart. During one of her days in Ghana, she and her team went to an orphanage to love on the kids there through games, special attention, prayer, song, etc. One of the activities they did with the kids in the orphanage was two-fold: 1. Take individual pictures of the kids and print them out, 2. Take those pictures and create fake passport posters for the kids. After team Ghana took pictures of the kids, they printed the photos and placed the pictures in a pile so the kids could pick their pictures and get started with the activity. Well, to their surprise, the kids did not move. In fact, the kids looked puzzled and began asking where their pictures were. Team Ghana and my friend quickly learned that the kids had NO IDEA what they looked like - what their face looked like. They had never seen their image in a mirror, piece of glass, reflection... nothing! After awhile, they began to figure it out because the kids would recognize the other kids and say, "That's you." Or, they'd recognize the shirt they were wearing... but they had no idea what their face looked like until someone told them by saying, "Hey, that's you."

Wow.

We have no idea how much God loves us. Sometimes we have issues seeing ourselves as God sees us. If God were to show us a picture of how He sees us, would you recognize yourself? If so, would you believe what you see? Our Father even declares who we truly are in the midst of our struggles and fears. Even in our insecurity, God is saying, "Hey, that's you. See, this is who you truly are. This is who I've created you to be. See?" Lately, I've spent a lot of time in prayer, crying (literally) about feeling inadequate in certain areas of my life. And, although I can hear the soft whisper of our Father speaking to my heart, often times what I see doesn't match up with what I hear. So, I've had to realign my thoughts with His thoughts and my eyes with His eyes by abiding in what His word says about me. That way, there will never be a time when I look at myself and not recognize who I am - or not recognize who I was created to be.

I want to see Christ in my reflection.

Secret Petition

I'd love to be with you a little longer
I want to sit long enough to burn
Jesus - be the peace I seek
break the piece of me that is anxious
burn me up like carbon paper, then
take those vapors and reconstruct me
Just, stay with me
wrap me with your love and teach me, to live.

~Terri
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Ever feel like the Lord is nowhere to be found? Ever feel as if your prayers are unheard sometimes; your tears unseen? Ever feel so desperate, so thirsty to hear from the Father, just a drink from Him would quench the dry places within you?

Don't stop pursing Him. God is faithful to His word. Psalm 37:3 says, "Trust (lean on, and be confident) in the Lord and do good; so shall you dwell in the land and feed surely on His faithfulness, and truly you shall be fed."

When you're in your room, alone, be still and rest. Commit your way and heart to the Lord, daily. Let those secret petitions of your heart bring glory to God - even when you don't 'feel' like it. His peace will cover you like a soft blanket.

May His presence wash over you like a waterfall. May your soul be refreshed and purified as you seek Him. May your heart dwell in the palm of His hand - always.

Nothing else matters.

In case you were wondering...

A man's gift makes room for him, And brings him before great men."
Proverbs 18:6

Ode To You.

What a great weekend. You know, God has given me a plethora of brilliant, amazing, heart-warming friends. I find myself in awe sometimes when I stop to think about the individuals who've left an imprint on my heart. Here's one:
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We could not stop talking. As soon as her flight landed, she and I talked until after midnight the next day. I love moments like that; moments when you're so comfortable with a friend, that time passes you by, unaware... In this particular case, it means a lot to me because I met this friend less than a year ago, and I feel like I've known her my whole life. Amazing. It behooves me to believe that this is less than God, when you can meet someone and instantly feel commonality. And, more often than not, the breath of God that my friend carries is arresting and attractive. The way she wears Christ makes me question my position in my relationship with Jesus - what I know and why I know it. Her example challenges me to work out my own salvation with greater pursuit and anticipation of the Holy. Iron sharpening iron. Can you tell I'm inspired?

My prayer is that I can leave an emphatic seed of benevolence, inspiration and encouragement in her life. Even, to have the opportunity to deposit the God-given wisdom I carry within me. I've learned that God doesn't do anything by mistake. The people in your life are for a reason, a season or a lifetime, and it's important to recognize the time. This friend, however, is definitely for a lifetime.

To that friend, I say, thank you :)

Favorite Kid Quote of The Day

My friend's daughter said this to him:

"Since God is my Dad, why do I have to ask you for stuff?"

Favorite Kid Quote of The Day

-a friend's son said this to me.

"I paid attention in school today and I listened to the teacher because I want Jesus to be pleased with my actions..."

Whom Love Pursued

I was cleaning around the house this afternoon and came across an old spoken word piece I shared at a women's retreat on the beach about a year ago. At this retreat, I was asked to speak and share my testimony, and this is what I shared before I spoke to the women about the God in me. I totally forgot about this and am glad I found it. Enjoy...
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"Whom Love Pursued"

she, sits in distress, concerned and under arrest
she, sits in her pretty pink dress
afraid to tell her mom because she'd make a mess
of things
she's six and he, he cornered her
she's not even old enough to write legible
his, decibels rang in her ears - "touch it!"
she sits in distress, concerned and under arrest
her heart beats out of her chest
she's too young to be shaken from the nest
but satan's jest was to destroy her

her shackles grew stronger with age, she's enraged at the world
every night, curled, into the fetal position
her life transitions inexplicably
see, she be that girl with the absentee father and abused mother
satan's plan - to scorn her identity
"you're nothing!" he says. "you're worthless!" he clouts.
"people will think your crazy!" he laughs. "there's no God." he shouts

she loses herself sometimes - with pen and paper and words
because her journal was the only thing that understood
her adjectives, her nouns, her verbs

she posts a do-not-disturb sign on her heart
but, love knocks anyway
it pursued her without fail
it even showed her the blood on the nail it endured
this pursuit made her blush
her, deep cocoa skin turning pale
she received a letter from this love in the mail
addressed to: intimacy

what is this love? she thought
don't you know she's on the run?
do you really want one raped and abused?
confused and holding a loaded gun?

this loves pursuit grew stronger and stronger
she, could not resist it any longer
and when her spirit was limp from wailing and crying
she gave in to this love and committed to dying
every day, even... and now
her testimony is a testament
of this love she found years ago

no more bondage and no more chains
no more denying that Jesus Christ reigns
no more sexual abuse, no more addiction
no more mental handicap, no more affliction
no more negative words, no more trilogy
of generation after generation after generation
of not being what God called to be
more faith, more anointing, more fire
more passion, more pursuit of His desire
more prayer, more intercession, a deeper level of more
more Holy Spirit power from head to the floor
taking territory for His glory in war

that girl who was abused and raped
is walking in power, free.
that girl whom love pursued
was me.

by

Burn

My deep thought for the day...

Ever see something burn? If it burns long enough, the things around it will also catch fire. And, when more than one thing burns, the fire becomes more intense and spreads faster. When fire spreads, it's harder to prohibit, interrupt...breakup. We should represent Christ in the manner of wild fire. We should burn for Him, His desires, His heart and ignite others. Be encouraged to get up every morning and put on Christ just like you take the time to put on your best outfit. †

In remembering to represent Christ with all I am, I read this quote earlier today...

"Catch on fire with enthusiasm for Christ and people will come from miles to watch you burn." ~John Wesley